When I was a kid, the closest thing to “digital danger” was accidentally clicking the wrong channel on TV. Now? A nine-year-old with an iPad can access more explicit content in sixty seconds than most adults could have found in sixty days when we were growing up. Parents don’t need to be told the internet is a minefield—we already know it. What we need is a way to walk with our kids through it without losing our minds—or their sense of worth.
The Ache We Feel
Most parents feel like they’re sprinting behind the curve when it comes to digital safety. New apps pop up daily. Filters break. Kids know workarounds. And the thought of “safeguarding” often feels like chasing a moving target with no finish line.
But here’s the deeper ache: we don’t just fear what our kids might see. We fear what those images might teach them about themselves and others. That people are pixels, that bodies are products, that intimacy is something you click into instead of something you build.
That ache is why safeguarding matters. It’s not about controlling screens—it’s about protecting dignity.
Redefining What Safeguarding Means
Safeguarding in the digital age isn’t about paranoia or perfection. It’s about dignity. Your child’s dignity. The dignity of the people on the screen. The dignity of human sexuality itself. If our kids are going to grow up in a world where sexual content is everywhere, the question isn’t just how do we keep them from seeing it? The deeper question is how do we help them see people rightly when they do?
Three Anchors for Parents
- Build a Culture of Openness Before the Crisis Comes
Dignity begins with honesty. If your first real conversation about sexual content happens after your kid has already stumbled onto it, you’re ten steps behind. Start early. Create space for awkward but real conversations. Make questions welcome. And most of all, show them that honesty never equals rejection.
When kids know they can speak freely, they learn that their thoughts, their bodies, and their voices matter. That’s dignity in practice.
- Teach the Why, Not Just the What
Rules without reasons don’t stick. If your only answer is “Don’t watch that” or “That’s bad,” kids will either obey out of fear or rebel out of curiosity. Instead, tie boundaries to value. Show them that sexual content trains our brains to treat people as objects. That every click is shaping the way they view themselves and others. That real intimacy isn’t consumption—it’s connection. When kids see the why, they begin to understand that safeguarding isn’t about rules—it’s about protecting their worth and the worth of others.
- Use Tools, But Don’t Rely on Them
Filters, locks, and parental controls? Use them. They buy you time and add guardrails. But no software can teach dignity. Technology can block a website, but it can’t form character. Technology can delay exposure, but it can’t define value. The strongest safeguard you can give your kids is a vision of humanity that refuses to reduce people to pixels.
When the Inevitable Happens
At some point, your child will see something they weren’t meant to. Maybe by accident. Maybe out of curiosity. Either way, the moment will come. And the numbers back it up. By age nine, around 1 in 10 kids have already seen pornography. By age eleven, that number jumps to more than one in four (Children’s Commissioner for England, 2025).1 This isn’t a fringe issue. It’s the world our kids are already growing up in.
When it does happen, your response will shape how they carry that experience.
If you shame them, they’ll learn to hide.
If you panic, they’ll feel like the problem.
But if you remind them of their worth, you re-anchor them in dignity.
Think less about “catching them” and more about “restoring them.” Your job isn’t to erase the image—it’s to rebuild the truth of their value and the value of others.
Naming Our Own Fear
Part of the reason this feels so heavy is because it touches our own stories. Maybe you remember your first exposure to porn. Maybe you’ve wrestled with it yourself. Maybe you carry shame that still stings. That’s why dignity matters for us too. You can’t offer your kids what you haven’t started to believe for yourself. The good news? Dignity isn’t earned—it’s inherent. You don’t lose it because of what you’ve seen or done. And neither do they.
A Better Goal
So maybe safeguarding isn’t about controlling every click. Maybe it’s about raising kids who know their value can’t be reduced to a video or a body on a screen. It’s about raising kids who see others not as products to consume but as people to respect. Kids who know they are worth more than likes, swipes, or secret tabs. That’s dignity. And it’s a safeguard no filter can replicate.
A Word of Encouragement
Here’s the thing: you won’t do this perfectly. You won’t know every app or catch every workaround. But perfection isn’t the goal. The fact that you care, that you’re reading this, that you want to protect not just your kid’s eyes but their heart—that says a lot.
So start small. Have one awkward but honest conversation. Share with your kid that their worth is bigger than anything online. Tell them you’ll always see them as more than a mistake or a statistic. Because in a digital world that trains kids to see people as less than human, the most radical safeguard you can offer is this: a home where dignity is non-negotiable.
1 Children’s Commissioner for England. (2025, January 15). Growing up with pornography: Advice for parents and schools. https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/blog/growing-up-with-pornography-advice-for-parents-and-schools/