I don’t know about you, but one thing I can’t stand is dishonesty. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that sometimes we lie. We all have, and probably will again. Often it’s an “in the heat of the moment” decision that we make out of the need to escape discomfort. And that’s wrong, but it happens and I get it.
But, when people intentionally lie to manipulate someone, exploit a situation, or to push a narrative that really bugs me. It’s also frustrating when lies impact other people and send them down a wrong path.
That said, here are 3 recovery lies I have run into often and these lies certainly create damage for those who believe them.
Lie #1: Your addiction is a product of sin and not emotional pain or trauma.
To be honest, this is really more of a half-truth but only if you have a full theological understanding of what “sin” means. That said, when most Christians talk about porn use being a result of our sinful nature, they are implying that one “acts out” simply because of evil or sinful desires.
And some do.
But generally the people I work with are acting out as a form of survival. In other words, they don’t know how to handle life’s challenges or the difficult emotions that those challenges evoke, so they act out to escape or detach from reality.
Yes, it’s technically sin because acting out sexually is not what God deems best for our lives. It “falls short.” But repenting and praying more is not going to do the trick for your recovery. You’re not acting out because you’re hopelessly evil; you’re acting out because you’re hurt and broken and need healing.
People who deny the real impact of trauma on your sexual decisions and insist that you just need to try harder are lying. Plain and simple. They are speaking out of ignorance, nothing more and nothing less.
Lie #2: You can do this alone.
No you can’t.
I won’t spend a lot of energy on this one but if you could do recovery alone you wouldn’t be here, right? A lack of connection is what got you into this problem, so the presence of connection is the thing that will help get you out.
XXXchurch has sold literally thousands of workshops to people over the past 15–20 years. And before Live Free acquired XXXchurch, they often sold workshops à la carte. When we took over In 2021, the first thing we did was cut the price of X3pure in half and made it a product that could only be bundled with Live Free Community access.
Why did we do this?
Simple. The truth is that out of all the 1,000’s workshops sold, there were many people who never finished the course. And I believe the reason for that is simple.
It was because they tried to walk the path of recovery alone. And that just never works.
You need people in your life. There’s no way around it. Read this post where I discuss three reasons community is a must for your success.
Lie #3: You can lose your salvation if you keep it up.
No you won’t.
God makes this crystal clear. Salvation isn’t possible because of what you do; It’s possible because of what He (Jesus) did. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so that no one can boast.”
Not from works means not because of “good works” and not because of the absence of “bad works.”
Works are not a factor.
I know it may seem difficult to believe that you can possibly love God when you keep acting out. But, you aren’t acting out because of a salvation issue; you are acting out because of a mental health and connection issue. And despite what you may believe, the problem most likely isn’t that you don’t love God enough. It’s far more likely you don’t believe in your heart that He loves you enough.
Sometimes the heart and head don’t work together the way they should. The trick then is doing the work needed to remedy that issue. That way you can enjoy a life that truly reflects integrity and your commitment to walking the right path.