On several occasions, I spent more than 4 hours at work surfing for porn sites. The images were sexy and discovering new sites were exciting, but I was looking for the perfect pornographic experience.
I kept trying to create that perfect porn binge, drinking in the most erotic images. It was the quest for the perfect masturbation experience, with the largest, longest climax. After hours of looking I would decide to finish.
Sure it was great, but after 30 minutes I was surfing for porn again looking for my next great experience. Why is that?
My quest for the “perfect” can affect my dating relationships or my marital relationships. I get the “hot”girlfriend I hoped for, then move on to someone else who seems hotter. I marry the “perfect” woman, then a year later I’m crossing boundaries with the secretary at work.
I have a deep need in me for the ultimate fulfillment. The ultimate satisfaction. But I never seem to find it in porn.
A new book by Michael John Cusick called Surfing For God: Discovering Divine Desire Beneath Your Sexual Struggle just came out. The author’s premise is: our desire to pursue porn, sexual content and sexual relationships is not about sex. Deep in our hearts we desire God.
I can never be satisfied in porn. I can never have enough. The uncle who has ever Playboy since the 60s in his garage will never be satisfied. The Dallas athlete I read about who has 55,000 videos in his porn collection will never be satisfied.
My soul longs for something greater… for something perfect… for God.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart”
I can be simplistic and say, “Turn to God instead of porn.” It’s true, but I don’t think that will help us much. Many of us have tried turning to God and feel defeated. Let me give some advanced tips on connecting with God I think will help.
HOW DO I CONNECT WITH GOD?
- I have to get around spiritual people – A spiritual friend, Christian counselor or minister will know how to connect with God. They also have experience helping others.
- I have to want to be well – When I’m sick of myself, broken and hurting I start looking for rescue. But the real test is when a person throws out the life preserver. If I don’t grab it, I must not want salvation and deliverance bad enough.
** Note From Jeff: Some of us come to xxxchurch.com feeling bad, but don’t really want to take the steps to be rescued. We want to keep our sexual sin, but we don’t want to feel bad or have any consequences.
- I have to clear obstacles out of my way – If my #1 goal is to connect with God and get help, I have to remove anything in my schedule and priorities that opposes it. I may have to drop relationships that are trying to keep me from connecting with God.
- I have to tune into my soul – We don’t like to get quiet. We don’t have much practice at exploring the deeper matters of our hearts. For God to speak and heal we will need to get quiet and listen.
Ps. 34:18 “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”
James 4:4 “draw near to God and he will draw near to you”
By Jeff Fisher of www.porntopurity.com ([email protected])