Recently I was a guest on a podcast and the host shared something with me that kind of stopped me in my tracks. He said, “Carl, I looked up the top 5 questions people are searching on Google about watching p*rn and recovery. Want to know what they are?”
Well, you know, of course I did. Here’s what he told me…
- “Why can’t I stop watching even when I hate it?”
- “Am I dependent or am I just weak?”
- How do I actually stop for good?”
- “Has porn messed up my brain or my marriage?”
- “Can God forgive me if I keep going back?”
Notice the common theme running through all of these?
There’s something wrong with me.
I’m weak. I’m broken. I lack discipline. I don’t have enough faith. I can’t be forgiven.
But here’s the question I want you to sit with today: What if that’s not really true?
What if you’re not the problem?
What if what feels “wrong” with you is actually completely explainable? And what if your struggle isn’t a character flaw, but something that makes perfect sense once you understand what’s really happening?
Here’s what I’ve noticed over the past decade working with thousands of men:
Many recovery programs, courses, and books unintentionally reinforce these feelings of shame and inadequacy. Why? Because they end in disappointment. And they end in disappointment because they fail to factor in some really important realities — realities about what’s actually driving your struggle and what really needs to change for lasting freedom.
This is why I’m releasing a free 3-part video series called: “3 Reasons Many Recovery Programs Fail (and How to Avoid the Same Traps).”
Over the next week, I’m going to show you:
- Why most programs focus on stopping the behavior instead of healing what’s driving it
- Why treating only part of the problem keeps you stuck in cycles of relapse
- Why trying to recover in isolation doesn’t work when healing requires connection
The first video drops Wednesday, April 8th.
Click HERE to enroll and be notified the moment it’s available.
Just know, you’re not broken. You’re not uniquely flawed. And you’re not the problem.

