There is an illusion we would all love to live up to. The illusion is we (guys, especially) want someone with a perfect body. This may mean slightly different things for different people, but ultimately it means hoping to arrive at whatever the fantasy is we carry that a perfect woman looks like. Guys are often very visual, so it’s not unusual for women to want to live up to entertaining the idea of having the “perfect body.” This brings me to our topic of “Porn makes me want plastic surgery.”

Ladies, I think the unfortunate reality of developing a perception of “a perfect body will please him” is the consequence of trying to create an unsustainable reality–which is really just a fallacy in the first place. There are men who are into porn actresses who have “perfect bodies.”  Women see these actresses with seemingly perfect bodies and they think they want plastic surgery, so they can look like these actresses as well.

There will be those who say it’s important to be healthy and if we eat right and take care of ourselves physically, we will be in good shape and look great. I wouldn’t disagree with this thinking. I will say that no matter the outcome of exercising, eating right and taking care of one’s self, you aren’t going to look like the girl in the video. More importantly, it really doesn’t matter whether you look like her or not. You can’t impress someone by trying to be someone you are not. Getting in great shape is a good thing. Enhancing body parts to try to entice or impress someone is not good and it’s not real.  The awesome thing about YOU, is that YOU are unique! You are the only you that exists! The real question to ponder is, “Are you doing the best job at being you?” Consider this: Your purpose will never fall in line to meet a standard which only exists in someone else’s mind.  

It’s OK to want a relationship. Before you go there, you will want to determine, “Is he interested in me for who I am or who he wants me to be?”  If you are trying to get him interested, you have to do some self-assessing first. Allow yourself to be confident in you just as you are right now, for who you are and whose you are (Daughter of the Creator of the Universe). Once you realize your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth are not dependent on what someone else thinks, you will be surprised how quickly men will appreciate you for you. Therefore, if the guy you are interested in, is interested in plastic Barbie dolls and you aren’t one, that’s fine…move on, be patient and you will find someone much better.  

The reality is that being well-endowed has zero sustainability for any kind of relationship. Eventually, you have to dig deeper. You have to get to know one another’s spirit. You have to find out what you have in common and if you desire to grow together.  

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) says “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” All of the plastic surgery in the world is not going to keep your man. Beauty fades, but knowing who you are and being that person with a man who may someday become your husband (or already is your partner) is what he needs you to be. Not a Barbie doll. You need him to love, honor and respect you for you…not for some fantasy he thinks he wants you to live out.  Be the absolute best at “doing you.”