Donald Miller once said, “Good stories must travel through conflict. And in epic stories, the conflict must become unbearable.” Story gives meaning to our lives. And character transformation is what engages us in the story. What about the stories we tell ourselves?  

January is often a time to reflect upon the previous year and establish resolutions. Instead of just making another resolution this year, what if you examined the narratives you’ve internalized about yourself, your worth and your struggles; the narratives that have kept you stuck? And  what if you challenged those narratives?  

Do any of these sound familiar? I am not enough. There is something wrong with me. This is all my fault. I’m not lovable.  

A common theory often utilized in counseling is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT helps individuals recognize the connection among cognitions (thoughts), emotions and behavior.  Therapists can assist clients with being able to identify and change unhelpful thinking patterns  and behaviors. CBT contributes to neuroplasticity: the brain’s ability to reorganize and rewire its neural connections, allowing it to adapt and function in ways different from its prior state. This year, I encourage you to examine the narratives you’ve internalized with self-compassion. 

Research Professor, Brene Brown, coined the phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is…” She  believes that the stories we tell ourselves are often influenced by fears, past experiences and  assumptions and those stories have a powerful effect on our emotions, behaviors and  relationships. She often refers to them as fiction. She says this, “In the absence of data, we will  always make up stories. It’s how we are wired. In fact, the need to make up a story, especially when we are hurt, is part of our most primitive survival wiring. Meaning making is in our biology, and our default is often to come up with a story that makes sense, feels familiar, and offers us insight into how best to self-protect.” 

We all have deep core beliefs and thoughts that can seem true, yet in reality they are distorted, irrational and illogical. Take some time to reflect and examine your beliefs about self. Challenge the shame based narratives. Take your thoughts to court! 

  • What are the possibilities of seeing yourself differently? 
  • What evidence do you have to support your thoughts? 
  • What evidence do you have against them? 
  • What alternative views are there? 
  • How would an outsider view this situation? 
  • How much does thinking this way cost you?  
  • Does it help or stop you from getting what you want? 
  • What might be the outcome of looking at things in a healthier way? 
  • Is your thinking realistic? 
  • Are you condemning yourself as a total person? 
  • Are you blaming yourself for something that is not your fault? 
  • Are you taking something personally which has little or nothing to do with you? Are you expecting yourself to be perfect? 
  • Are you using a double standard: How would you view your best friend in this situation? 

As you examine the false narratives, I encourage you to search the Bible for truth. What does Jesus have to say about it? Our minds are a battlefield. Take your thoughts captive. This will take some time so give yourself some grace in the process.  

And if you haven’t already, download the Live Free Community App – Connect with an online support community where you can access teaching, workshops, and real connection with others who understand the journey.  

May 2026 be the year you examine, challenge and reframe the stories you are telling yourself. And may your transformation bring new meaning.  

 

References: 

Brown, Brene. Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution. New York, Spiegel  & Grau, 2015. 

Miller, Donald. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Tennessee, Thomas Nelson, 2009.