For years, viewing pornography was considered to be a guy issue. And if your friends were watching porn, you better agree to view it too or face the consequences of being labeled a sissy or momma’s boy. Yes, getting involved with porn was like joining the He-Man Club. You belonged. You were one of the guys. But what about the girls?

A Woman’s Place

Much has been written about the history of women and sexuality. Over the centuries, women were treated as second-class citizens, and their sexuality was viewed as not belonging to them. Instead, it was deemed women should sexually submit to men. Now, this was not the case with all women. Some females protected their sexuality and did not give way to the will and desire of men.

But these were rare exceptions.

Women also have been seen as guardians of virtue, the best of society, mothers, sisters, and daughters. The entire time they were also sexual beings with needs and desires all their own.

But women were taught to suppress these needs and not address them in public, and often also in private. Instead, their sexual desires were pushed aside, and the focus was placed on men’s sexual wants and needs.

The tide started to turn in the 1960s when a sexual revolution emerged, encouraging women to embrace their sexuality and, in some cases, adopt the stereotype of the promiscuous male. It was a culture shock hyped by the media but not fully embraced by women, who, while sexually awakened, still preferred to be seen and treated as sweet, innocent, and virtuous.

While more women are viewing pornography than ever before, the large majority of women have not adopted the same attitude toward pornography that men have developed. Many continue to be turned off by porn.

However, the advent of the Internet has taken the sexual revolution to levels its 1960s founders could never have imagined. Today, our society is highly sexualized, and women are being encouraged at a young age by media outlets to allow themselves to be sexually expressive individuals and to pursue their sexual needs and not worry about personal or social consequences.

Why Porn?

Just like men, there are numerous reasons women become addicted to porn, and here are just a few. Please note these reasons are based on women who are addicted to porn.

  • Some women – especially those exposed at a young age – use porn to achieve a dopamine high to distract themselves from emotional pain and discomfort.
  • Others followed the crowd not to be judged by peers and soon found themselves knee-deep in pornography.
  • After initial exposure – especially in their youth – these women believe viewing pornography regularly is normal, and they do not understand the negative consequences it can bring, including allowing themselves to be objectified and distorting their viewpoint of sex.
  • For women who have been sexually harmed, porn can be used to continue reinforce their unhealthy views of sexuality and themselves.
  • For those struggling with low self-worth and intimacy with real-life partners, pornography serves as an outlet to engage in fantasy to offset their feelings of inadequacy.

As we continue our series, in our next blog entry, we will introduce you to the 10 Inner Child that impacts a woman’s love and porn addiction.

Later in 2023, Going Deeper for Women: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Love and Porn Addiction will be published. Coauthoring with Lacy Alajna Bentley, author of Addicted to Love, and Heather Cronemiller, CSAT-C, the book will help women stay one step ahead of their Inner Child and addiction.

If you would like to be added to the mailing list to obtain a notice when the book is launched, send your email address to [email protected].