Love is in the air. Oh the joys, except for the select few like myself and like several of you who will be “forever alone” this V-day season. I remember in high school how the couples would go to the local flower shop and get a candy/snack filled arrangement and send it to their significant other. Isn’t it quite obvious that the couples love this time of year and the singles hate it? So it goes without saying, I hate this season. Two reasons: It makes me feel alone unlike these couples, and it makes the desire to look at porn greater.
Some people have a relationship with porn so they would be spending their night with their mistress regardless of the occasion. Personally, I’m honestly dreading Valentine’s this year. This past year has been a progressive year for me, and the hardest day is just ahead. But I have hope. If I may, I want to get personal with you. Personal stories serve the masses the best, but this will be difficult for me because I hate being vulnerable. I am about to admit something. I relapsed. There I said it. My triggers are stress, being tired, drastic change, and being alone. Recently, I moved closer to my college, started a new job, and have gotten extremely involved in campus life (which I encourage you to do once you get into college). With this has come change, stress, and being tired, so I relapsed like a crazy buffoon. And this time, it’s been that much harder to get out. I’ll go as far as saying this: I (somewhat) missed my mistress. Let me explain. I rarely have had a girl friend. I had one my freshman year of high school, a small, secret fling senior year, and have been a member of the singles club ever since. Thus, as I mentioned before, I had a relationship with porn. She was my mistress, and she really likes to visit on Valentine’s as she does to the best of us.
In preparation for the big battle (which can actually be any day–let’s be honest), I surround myself with scripture. For me that is the best tool in combating porn, lust, and immoral desires (see 2 Corinthians 10:4). Thus, I’ve prepared myself for battle similar to what Ephesians 6 tells us. The scripture that the Holy Spirit has drawn me to in this preparation is Hebrews 12:1-12. Normally, I would not want to add such a large passage into a post, but I want you to be just as equipped as I am. Please slowly read this scripture with honesty and vulnerability to take in its full concept. I’ll let it speak for itself:
Hebrews 12:1-12 (NIV84)
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Endurance and perseverance are two of the most difficult things to do. They are both tiring and require all of us. What I’m getting at is: Are you 100 percent ready to be freed? As I mentioned, I do “miss” my mistress. My flesh still wishes she was with me. The flesh loves to indulge in sin. However, I’d rather have the beauty of sobriety that many of us wrote about last month. The purity, the serenity, and gracefulness of sobriety–that’s way more attractive. Are you 100 percent? I am…again. Will you be 100 percent with me? It requires all of you (hence the “100 percent” thing). It takes guts, endurance, and perseverance. I dare you to take the first step–it’s hard to do, but the reward is much greater. Arm yourself with scripture in preparation for this battle. Do you think we just let the U. S. Armed Forces go into battle blind? NO! And neither should you in your spiritual battle. The above passage is one of many to keep in mind during this testing month. Search for Him; you’ll find Him. Endure and persevere. I believe in you.