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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Hi! I have been addicted to porn for a long time and I really want to quit! I have been out of a job for 3 months and have no money! I don’t see anything on your website that would be helpful to me that is free! If there are things that are free and would help me please point me in the right direction! Thank you for your help!
In addition to the hundreds of blogs written by others who once struggled like you do, there are interactive areas of the site where you can release some of what you are carrying around in an effort to dump the guilt and shame. Check out the Confessions and the Letters area of the site.
In addition, here are some other recommended resources:
Groups:
Celebrate Recovery: CR is free and is an international program with groups that meet in cities worldwide. CR is a program designed to help those struggling with hurts, hang-ups, and habits by showing them the loving power of Jesus Christ through the recovery process.
X3groups: While there is a fee for X3groups it is minimal compared to other options out there and we would not be doing our job if we didn’t at least point you to this viable resource. X3groups is Accountability with real, live groups. Until now, we have always aimed to start accountability conversations and relationships, but we have never seen a model before that we could sustain without being there in person. Groups are for those who are 18+
Workshops:
X3pure: If you are struggling with pornography or sexual addictions, the X3pure workshop is perfect for you. While it is not free, many have had their churches, or a loved one help them with the cost. If you are a student with a .edu email address we can provide partial scholarships. Private, online, and effective, the X3pure program can help you end the downward spiral of shame and alienation.15 video lessons with companion workbook that contains 15 workbook lessons.
Counseling:
Christian Care Counselors: Find a counselor in your area. The Christian Care Network (CCN), is a national referral network of state licensed, certified, and/or properly credentialed Christian counselors offering care that is distinctively Christian and clinically excellent.
Like-Ministries Free Resources:
Heart Support Community Join the online community of Heart Support where your story is unique but your struggle is not.
Setting Captives Free: Setting Captives Free is a non-denominational ministry which teaches the biblical principles of freedom in Jesus Christ. Some free resources are available.
God Over Porn: God Over Porn seeks to reach those bound by sexual sin and pornography addiction, fostering a community of men and women that expresses love, grace, and hope to one another through online group support, bible studies, workshops, and the Isaiah 61 Project (Prison Ministry). God over porn offers free text messages of encouragement that you can opt into.
My husband often gets upset or angry and treats me like this all week. Then he asks me for sex and I usually say no. Then he asks me to have mercy on him and to “help him”, so sometimes I do but I end up feeling used. I tell him all the time about needing to be treated with love as a part of foreplay throughout the day, as well as needing to be hugged and caressed. But he never does it. I feel frustrated sexually and cheated. When we do have sex it lasts 15 seconds and he promises to go again longer the second time, but it either doesn’t happen or I’m no longer in the mood. He has lied to me about looking at porn before and it broke trust between us for a while. Now he will confess being tempted to look if I confess first. I’m so frustrated and I feel like he won’t man up and take any responsibility or lead in any way. He claims he never got an accountability partner because no one would do it with him, but I only half believe him. He won’t go to any program or online help or any book on his own, adding to my frustration of feeling like he has a half effort going. We’ve tried marriage counseling on other issues but not this sex issue. I honestly don’t know if those counseling sessions worked any way because he’s still the same, not leading, disrespectful, and unloving.
“He claims he never got an accountability partner because no one would do it with him, but I only half believe him. He won’t go to any program or online help or any book on his own, adding to my frustration of feeling like he has a half effort going. We’ve tried marriage counseling on other issues but not this sex issue.”
If he is not owning up to his own issues and seeking help for them because he wants to then there is not a thing you can do to make him. We as wives can push and or manipulate to get them into counseling or to find an accountability partner but if their heart is not in it and they are not determined to work on themselves genuinely then there will be no solid outcome of recovery. Period.
You however can still work on you. You can choose to seek out counsel on this whether or not he ever does. His addiction WILL affect you and your sex life and your responses and or reactions will contribute to the cycle in one way or another.
This is not your fault. Your husband’s spiritual integrity issues are on him. He has to own that. His seeking satisfaction outside of the marriage is something he needs to own and clearly the consequences of that is what is happening in the bedroom.
I have so many things I could recommend to BOTH of you but he has to be on board. If he will get on board then definitely go back to counseling to deal with the sexual sin issues and consider going through the Best Sex Life Now workshop. Spend some time in our spouses section as well. See if he would consider joining an X3group where he could talk with other guys going through the same struggles.
I am recently widowed. I have a 13 yr old son. I have no reason to suspect that he is participating in porn, but I am concerned for the temptation. I have talked with him about why it is unhealthy and why he would be drawn to it. Is there anything out there that I can do to block sites on my internet at home? He doesn’t have internet on his phone, but he does have accessibility to wifi. Thank you.
First, I am sorry for your loss. It must be terribly hard to lose your husband and be forced into single parenting. I have just said a prayer for you. To answer your question, yes! X3watch Premium software will provide both accountability and filtering! A wise wise move on your part. Good job!
You may also be interested in iParent.TV to keep you in the know with all things tech for parents raising kids in a internet world.
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