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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I am able to overcome triggers to watch porn or masturbate during the day with activities such as going to the gym or simply doing something I need to get done etc. However, the time when the trigger becomes the most strong is when I am in bed with my eyes closed, trying to sleep. I have tried to overcome the trigger with music and prayer, but it’s tough some nights no matter what I do.
Would appreciate your help.
This can be a tough area for a lot of people. Try vigorous exercise one hour before bed time. Really physically exert yourself in a healthy way. Then move towards the prayer and music. Just a suggestion but it may help.
I took the test that is on your website and the burden of thinking that I had an addiction to porn in off my shoulders now! But that doesn’t matter when it comes down to the fact that I still look at porn sometimes. When I get the urge it seems like NOTHING can stop me from watching sex performed in front of my eyes that very moment. Anyways I have done the hardest part( in my opinion) which was to confess my dark secret to someone. I told my best friend and eventually told my mom. (They both exampled Gods love to me in their reactions after I told them). And I thought that because I confessed I was just going to stop. But I see now that was unrealistic. I feel like I’m back at square one. Since I have already confessed to Jesus and to others..what now?
Confession is a great first step— but confession alone will not produce a heart change. It might provide some relief but that will soon wear off. Creating a plan of action and pairing it with sincere accountability from trusted people in your immediate sphere of influence is crucial. Craig Gross talks openly about this and what it should look like in his book OPEN.
Look into securing accountability and you may also want to consider joining a group like The X3groups! A group environment with your peers can encourage you and provide some reinforcement with your goals and plan of action.
I seem to be able to stay away from this sin for months, even a year at a time, but something seems to nag me and I fall a day or two and then come back out of it for months again with seemingly no trouble then it comes and gets me again months and months later. It’s like a recurring relapse that happens every so often. When I’ve fallen, it’ll be maybe 1 or 2 instances, I turn from it, confess it and know I’m forgiven, then I don’t seem to have trouble for several more months. I even went a full year without falling. Then another relapse. I just can’t seem to officially stay away from this sin indefinitely. Why do I seem to have no trouble for a time and I seem to be long past ever falling again, but then an eventual relapse occurs? Why can’t I seem to stay away from it indefinitely? I get so close to being rid of it permanently only to suffer another defeat. So many times I’ve believed I was forever free, but then I would fall. Why do I suffer such relapses? I mean other than the obvious reasons…how do I put an end to these relapses?
I think this is a good question and clearly it is sincere and you desire “the answer”. I’m not sure that there is a simple one answer fits all here. But these are my thoughts:
We tend to sin where our propensity to sin is so of course when you are stressed, (or whatever your triggers are) this would be the “familiar” sin you return to. The bible tells us that we are enticed by our own desires. Drugs are not a problem for me, but food is. When I am stressed, or under pressure, I tend to turn to food. Not drugs, not sex, not alcohol… my propensity/desire is in this particular area. I’m going to assume the same thing to be true with you and porn. Addictions have such a pull, such a lure, they are so deceiving and leaves one so empty but yet… we continue to slip. However…. it does not mean that you will not enter into “forever freedom” it’s just that you’re not there yet. God obviously knew there was something to this because He included this Scripture in His word:
“Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again!..” (proverbs 24:16)
Instead of focusing on the relapses, perhaps focus on the victory. You ARE making progress and you ARE experiencing freedom. Don’t give up. Don’t be defeated. You keep pressing in and you will see that one day you will not have to keep counting the relapses because you will have risen above them!
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