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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Do you think it is ok to have oral forplay with your spouce.
God gave us sex as a gift to enjoy with you and your spouse. If this is something she likes and agrees with it then it is fine. But make sure that if it is something she does not want to do that you do not push her or force her to do something she does not want to do.
I’ve been raised in a christian home all my life. Got into porn on my own around 11 or 12 maybe? Just out of curiosity of women. Started with pictures, moved to videos, now its whatever I can get. I’ve been caught several times and I would stop for a little bit, then of course, get sucked right back into it. I feel like its hurting my relationship with my girlfriend now. We are not sexual in anyway, and she knows I struggle with porn, but she says it hurts her to know I watch this crap and like it. I want to stop for my sake and hers and become clean for any future women I may be involved with. I hate porn and think its digusting, but the hold is so strong that I feel like I cant break free. I’m also struggling with believing that there is a god, and when I pray for him to release this grip porn has on me, and it doesnt happen, its not helping the case that he’s real. Is there a way I can break this grip without praying to “God” because quite frankly, I’ve heard enough about him taking our troubles away because its been 8 years and I’ve made no progress at all. Help me if you can.
From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all
comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may nit have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
Hello,
To all who read this I thank you and ask for your assistance. I am using x3watch program and it has been working fantastically, until recently. I found a cite that I can get “material” from and the program does not pick up on it. I am asking for suggestions on how to restrict my own access to the cite by directly messing with my computer or adding the cite to the list x3watch pick up as questionable. Before I go further I realize that the best solution is self restraint but that is easier said than done and I feel as though this is my only recourse. Now back to the matter at hand, id rather find a way to possible add a url to the software watch list than block ability to it. Also I may add that I am somewhat computer savvy, I am just in need of a way to make it uncircumnavigable for myself. Any advice would be fantastic. Thank you all.
Ps: I have a Mac and use Google chrome.
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