Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

porn and chat sites

I’ve been addicted to pornography for years now but I’ve just recently started to use chat rooms to masturbate. When I’m in these chat rooms I pretend that I’m someone else. I’ve even pretended to be be a girl so a guy on the chat room would send me pics. By the way I’m not gay but I really feel like Satan is destroying me with these dark sins and temptations. Is this normal to use chat sites and pretend like I have and what can I do to get over my addctions? Thanks

Trying to find what is “normal” in addiction which is dysfunctional is not something that I think anyone can really help you with.   Different people travel down different avenues.  Do sex/porn addicts enter chat rooms? Yes otherwise those types of chat rooms wouldn’t exist.     It is our understanding through working with those addicted that most end up traveling further down the path of addiction then they ever intended to go.    It sounds to me like you are concerned about the road you are traveling therefore you are seeking out help to break the cycle.  We have an abundance of resources for men, women, students, parents.   I am certain you will find some great resources there to start taking the right steps towards victory over your addiction.   You may also want to consider joining a X3group.  These groups are going strong and the participants are finding recovery possible through community and accountability!    -Best wishes.

Porn and Masturbation

Hello, I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation since I was 12 years old. It is only recently that I was able to admit that I was even addicted. And I have immediately put things in place to help stay accountable. I have downloaded X3watch, and added accountability partners I am completely open with my accountability partners. Including my parents, who have been very supportive and loving through this journey. You see God recently turned my entire life around, and I have recently surrendered my life to him. I am now surrounded with fellow believers and am completely in love with him. However, since I grew up in a Christian home, I have trained myself how to get around internet blockers there are exceptions to every rule, and furthermore living in the world that we do so filled with sexual images, and practically pornographic advertisements (even for someone who has given up social media and television such as myself) it has become exceeding difficult to stay pure. And I have felt that the only way to keep me from logging onto pornographic sites, is to masturbate before I fall into temptation. I know that you all take the stance that masturbation is wrong, which is something that has been widely debated by many believers and I have stood on either side of the argument at one point or another. But is giving up both porn and masturbation cold turkey the answer? And if I feel like masturbation is keeping me away from pornography what do I do. Especially if I have already set up the boundaries, but fear that I will find a way around them?

Thanks for your question. This is something we get asked more often than you think.

Regarding the whole masturbation thing … yes, it’s very debated. We would tell you that if you are fantasizing about someone or something during that moment (other than your spouse) then you are still hurting your purity. Also, if you do it for self-medication purposes then that’s not good either.

Porn is everywhere. Yes, it’s not easy to stay pure. That being said, the visual triggers you face on a daily basis will become less problematic the longer you stay sober from porn and/or masturbation. In fact, many men don;t know this, but the more often you masturbate the more you want to.

Getting good accountability is a great start. Make sure you really surround yourself with guys you can reach out to in moments when feeling tempted. It’s not gong to be an overnight victory but in time you will find your brain healing & you need for porn diminishing.

Also, realize that often porn/masturbation use is a form of self-medication for anxiety, loneliness, etc. Take some time to explore those areas & try to figure out what drives you.

Same sex attraction

I have been struggling with pornography for years and very early on, I made a decision (stupid though it may be) that I would not violate my marriage covenant and became involved in same sex porn. Yes, I know it doesn’t make sense but I was struggling with porn and looked for a rationale to protect my marriage. Now I find myself tremendously addicted and don’t know what to do . The easy thing to say is just “stop.” But it isn’t this easy as you know. I need help. Is the same sex a regular/normal happening — am I really that messed up? BTW, I know I am a sinner and that messed up!

sex addiction- porn addiction is sex addiction-porn addiction!   Whether it is hetero porn or gay porn.  porn is porn.

You said you need help.  There is a lot of help available but you’ve got to pursue it and you need accountability.   We’ve been here for 12 years and we have yet to hear from someone who overcame this by themselves.

Check out all of our resources available to you.    If you really think you are struggling with same sex attraction or homosexuality there is a blog on our site that you might find helpful.

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