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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
What is the stance of your organization on homosexuality? I have been struggling with homosexual pornography for a couple of years and am seeking help both here and with people in my life to find God’s victory for me in this area of my life. However, I believe that the Bible clearly states that homosexual behavior is not consistent with the way Jesus wants us to live. In my quest for finding God’s victory, I want to find victory over my problem with pornography and work towards having healthy relationships with women as God intended. I was concerned when your sexual addiction test asked for a sexual orientation. Does this mean your church / organization approves of all sexual orientations, or is this simply a question to help you know where my struggle lies? I would just like to know so that I can determine if this site and organization is the right resource for me.
Stephen,
I do think this site is a goo dplace for you.
We do feel that homosexuality is a sin and is clearly stated that way in the bible. Was also do belive that we are to acept everyone and to love them no matter who they are. We may not agree with the act but, we do not have to dislike the person. We are here to help and support you in any way we can.
Ive been a porn addict for at least 20 yrs .. What kind of resources can I get to help in the healing process ?
From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest X3 Watch Pro for this. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
Another way to get good accountability and a safe place to do it is with an X3 Groups Online group. You can find out more about it at www.X3groups.com It is a great program.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
I’m in a very strange place in my life. First off let me say I am a Christian, and have been since I dedicated my life to Christ as a young teenager. Up until about a year ago I was even enrolled in seminary. I do believe I have a strong faith and commitment to God, but at times.. There are very dark parts/sides of me, sides that seem to take precedence over my actions and emotions. I like to think of my self as a regular guy, porn is something that is very “real” out in the world. Most guys look at it, and I tend to fall into that category. Until recently, I didn’t think much of it. I know it’s not right, I know that.. But its almost as if I have become immune to the behavior, that I don’t even think that much about it. It just became a regular occurrence whenever I was aroused. So, this led to me filming my own sexually occurrences with my fiancé.. At first I thought, okay well I’m marrying this woman.. and I can watch my own porn, and this would keep me away from porn sites. And it did, for a while. Until the thought of others watching made me curious. I battled this for a long time, even deleted videos and pictures to prevent myself from doing it. It wasn’t until a few days ago I decided to post some things, and thats when it started. The anxiety, the rush.. Slowly it was taking over.. I couldn’t stop thinking about who was watching, what they were saying.. etc. etc. It got bad tonight, and I find myself staying up late looking and looking to check. Couldn’t sleep. Very emotional. I deleted everything, and basically shut it down.. But the thought is still there, and the feelings were very real. It was scary, and I don’t feel like I’m out of the dark yet. I’m concerned with myself, and my behavior.. Its like I’m battling myself telling myself its okay.. when I know, it is not okay. That is what led me here. Has you seen this before? I just needed to let this out to someone; somebody. No one else knows. Can you pray for me?
Jeremy,
I have to say that I have heard of guys / couples posting their video’s and having the feelinf of shame and regret.
First you did the right thing by removing the content and not allowing others to get it. by putting up those videos you are feeding other who are addicted and need to get away from it as well. Your thinking of well I am not looking at porn was only fueling someone elses.
To be honest I would stop filming all together and look at what it is God would have you do. One would be to stop having sex with you girl since you two are not married yet. The second would be to get accountability for this and bring someone along side of you who can help you.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that we are praying for you.
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