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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
How do I deal with being in a sexless marriage?
We would suggest that you speak to a counselor to help you guys deal with the root cause of this issue. This professional will be able to help you deal with what is going on and can help you get to the root tissue at hand. They will be able to help you find ways to work on these issues and hopefully find a way for the two of you.
I have struggled with porn for years. When my wife and i got married,i agreed to meet with my Pastor because we were failing apart. Things were better for a couple years but i slowly fell back into questionable behavior, gratifying my flesh. I confessed it to my wife and she was very disappointed and hurt. I got an accountability partner and removed every source of temptation. Things have been going well but lately she has distanced herself and I’ve confessed to her that I’m struggling with sexual desires not being met. Nothing has changed and i fell into pornography again. I didn’t gratify my flesh,i just looked at it, when she asked what i was doing i told her. She is very upset, buti don’t know what to do. How do i go about remaining pure and my wife not being with me? what am i supposed to do when I’m the one looking for healthy intimacy with my wife, but she struggles with intimacy and closeness? I’m the one that struggles with temptation and she knows it,i try to do right, i have your software on my phone, the computer hadn’t been a problem until this last issue. Is there anything i could do? I’ve talked to my Pastor, is there anything my wife and i can do?We have been through Christian marriage counseling, she knows the principles but didn’t think it’s an issue until it becomes an issue. Please help.
Jose,
I truly think you guys need to step back into counseling as a couple and individually as well. It sounds like she has something in her life that is blocking her from moving on. You also have issues that you need to deal with that will be better handled in a individual level too.
The couples sessions will allow for the both of you to take what is happening in the two sessions and apply them as a couple. How ever the sessions are only as good as the effort put into the cause. If you or your wife does not put forth the effort in this you will fight a long and very tough battle.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that we are praying for you.
I’m interested in pursuing a girl I’ve recently met. Coincidental circumstances put her in my life at a time where I was really starting to lose faith in my worthiness to date a pure girl. I almost gave up my virginity several times to my last relationship, and now I feel unworthy to handle a pure relationship. I know God’s grace covers the sin…but how do I manage to hold up a life of purity when so much weight from the past tries to hold on to me. Furthermore, if the relationship turns into something more, when do I speak up about my past and present struggles?
Everett,
Do not be tough rough on yourself. You should look at the fact that you did not give up your virginity as a victory. So many of your peers where not as successful with this and caved to the pressure that is involved in sex.
If you have found a girl who is pure and the two of you are in love you should feel good about being in a relationship like this.
To hold up a life of purity you need to get accountability and remove all things that provide you the temptations that bring you to the feeling of unwanted sexual behavior.
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