Questions

I recently met a very Godly pure girl and am considering pursuing a relationship with her. We are taking it slow and seeking God’s counsel. We have talked about our struggles with lust and she mentioned how she fought the temptation of a one night stand before. I had the opportunity to tell her about my 5 year struggle with porn but felt it was too soon since we have been talking for under a month. Because of her I have had encouragement to fight the temptation and have been clean for 2 weeks because of it.

When is the right time for me to share that I struggle with it?

With a few mistakes here and there over the past year, I have not looked at porn in a little over a year now. My question however is something a little different. My addiction is a little more focused than other people’s. On one hand this is a blessing because some things that might be a trigger for some is not for me. However, I also feel embarrassed because it is such a different ‘fetish’ for lack of a better word. When it comes down to it, I just feel so ashamed of this. I know that I shouldn’t be, but it continues to rear it’s ugly head in my thoughts. I have cut off sources of sensuality and I am staying in my Bible. However it just won’t stop showing up in my thoughts. I have come a long way since a year ago, but they just won’t go away. I guess over all my question is how can I approach this fetish from a Christian standpoint. I understand that if it is something that can control my sex life (I can’t have regular sex without it) then it is something that should be banished from myself because it controls me. I also know that if this were to be shameful to my wife in any way I However, Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hello,

I have had a long habit of masturbating since I was 12 and earlier this year, I have found Christ. I am a true follower. I now know that my body was paid for a price (it is a holy temple of God) and that it is a sin to lust/covet over something that I do not need. God must be the first and only person on my intimate love list.

Thanks to God, I am now free from my strong addiction of Porn and masturbation. It has been 3 months since I’ve looked at a nude woman or touched my penis in any way. Constant prayer to God helped me out.

Sadly, I am still having trouble with thinking about masturbation. These past few months have been hard for me because the thought of “masturbating without lust/covetion” pops into my mind almost every hour of each day. My mind is telling me that it is something I can still do as long as I forgive God every time! I believe that this is a mind-trap from satan that will cause a full relapse and drop me down to the old sinful Josh. I do my best to think of God standing right in front of me saying “NO”…but it doesn’t help me at all!

My heart knows that stopping masturbation was a great sacrifice to God for I no longer need to lie in order to hide my masturbation toys. I have blocked ALL ways for me to access any XXX treasures. I even replaced my bedroom doorknob with a broken knob without a latch so the door never stays shut. My TV is gone and I only use my computer for college work. Sadly, I’m still experiencing my cold turkey of masturbation. I am not sure when (or if) it will subdue. While my heart knows the true answer, my mind is still thinking that I do not lust or covet when masturbating and it is something I can still do as long as I forgive God every time! Yes, God gave me a huge sex drive with a ton of testosterone and it is stressful for me to hold back the urge to climax in order to please God. This problem has been on my mind since I stopped all sexual actions.

You see, my sexual problem is a bit different than most other Christians because I did not lust over women when masturbating and I barely used porn when climaxing. At this current time, I am not addicted to masturbation, which is a good.

So…here is my main question:

I am not sure if masturbating without lust/coveting (once in a while) is okay or if it is something that will pull me away from Jesus and lead me to hell. If it is okay, I promise that I will no longer use unholy techniques that are against God such as sex toys. I do know that God must come before everything in my life. If the answer is no, can you please help me with better ideas to keep my thoughts clean each day? To take that strong urge away from my mind? It is very bothersome to me and I want it to go away. It was very hard for me to sacrifice a sensation that I loved a lot.

If I do masturbate once again, I am worried that I will be addicted once again. Self-control is important and if I CAN climax as a single Christian in a holy matter, I will not get addicted as much as I was before.

It might be many years until I find the Christian woman for me and it is very hard for me unless I block out these sinful thoughts of masturbating!

So please help me out and pray for me.

Josh