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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
So, I’m a 17 year old female, and I’m wondering what the best way to confess my addiction to my parents is. I’m starting to feel like it’s time to come clean about it and talk to them (God is starting to push me towards this) but I’m incredibly scared and I just don’t want to. I don’t know how they will respond, especially since watching pornography was the one thing I promised them I would never do on the computer. Plus, it seems like such an odd thing for a girl to struggle with – males, sure, it’s talked about frequently, but females is a different story. I don’t want them to get super upset or punish me or anything (the addiction in and of itself is punishment enough) and I’m just terrified of talking to them about it. How should I approach the subject? What should I say? Thanks in advance.
Nicole,
It may seem like you are alone in this as a female but, you are not alone at all. There are many women who struggle with this and it keeps getting worse because of the same thought process you are having with this.
I know that it is tough to talk to your parents about this but, you should and I would suggest talking to your mother first about this. Find a time to ask her if the two of you can talk about stuff and make it a time that is private and when you will not be interupted in doing so.
Be honest with her and tell her everything. Let her know you want help and that you want to get rid of this from your life. Please know that you are not alone and no matter what you do it will not take away Gods love for you. We will be here praying for you as you move through this.
I have believed for about a year with Gods help my husband was released from the sin and temptation of porn. I just found that he has been lying, sneeking and hiding his problem the entire time. We have been married for 11 years and this has always been an area of distrust in our relationship. I am unable to deal with my feelings of inadequateness and humiliation. Furthmore he claims he is trying to stop, but after hearing the same ridiculous apology attempts and promises. I am fed up and unsure of how to move forward.
Misty,
First know that you are not aone in this and that God knows your struggle and that we are praying for the both of you.
I think that what you need to do is sit down with your husband and let him know that you are aware he is looking at this stuff again. Do not come at him with anger or he will feel backed into the corner and his instincts will be to come out swinginig and to protect himself. Let him know how it bothers you and how it really makes you feel.
Ask him to get help and suggest talking to someone in your church or to get coucoling as a couple. Give him a chance to get help but, make sure that you get help for yourself as well so that you can heal too.
If he will not get help then I would suggest to talk to a pastor or staff member at your church and get yourself some solid support and prayer. I know this is tough and that you are hurting right now but, you can do this.
I would also like to point you into the direction of a great group that can help you. This group is www.partnersforpurity.com they are a group that knows what you are going through right now and can offer you great support.
I have found porn on my computer more than once. The evidence points to my husband because my kids don’t know the password to get on my computer and it happens while I am asleep. When I ask my husband about it, he usually explains it by saying he clicked on a link in his email not knowing what it was. The last activity I found started out with a google search for porn, so I know that it is not from an email. My husband is usually a very honest person, but I know he is lying about this. We are a Christian family and I feel like we will not be blessed until the leader lines up. I would confront him, but I am tired of the same answers every time. We are in a campaign in our church called “50 days in the upper room” which is basically 50 days of discipline in the Word. The latest activity was done during this time and it disturbs me that he is not trying to change especially during this time. P.S. I would not have known it without your accountability software. Thank you so much. Michele
Michele,
You need to sit down with your husband again and talk with him. Find a time to maybe have your children at a friends house or maybe spend the nigh at a grand parents so that you two can be alone and not disruptied.
During this time you need to talk honestly with him and tell him how this makes you and your conserns for him. To not coe at him with anger or malice in your heart or he will feel backed up in the corner and come out swinging. This is not a time to get in a fight but, to address an issue that is causing harm in your marriage.
He needs to make the choice if he wants help or not. If he does not tell him that you need to heal over this and that you need help in dealing with his sinful nature in this season he is in. Tell him that you will be seeking help from the church and will be talking to one of the pastors. You will need their help and guidince in finding you a person or group who can help you heal. They will also provide you with much neede prayer as well.
He has to want to get help with this or he will not do so. And you need to remember that he is not the onlu one who needs healing too.
You may want to check out a site called Partners For Purity. They are a group who knows where you are right now and have been there. They can help you with what you are going through right now and what you will be going through later. www.partnersforpurity.com
Please know that you are not alone and that we are praying for you.
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