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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I took the test that is on your website and the burden of thinking that I had an addiction to porn in off my shoulders now! But that doesn’t matter when it comes down to the fact that I still look at porn sometimes. When I get the urge it seems like NOTHING can stop me from watching sex performed in front of my eyes that very moment. Anyways I have done the hardest part( in my opinion) which was to confess my dark secret to someone. I told my best friend and eventually told my mom. (They both exampled Gods love to me in their reactions after I told them). And I thought that because I confessed I was just going to stop. But I see now that was unrealistic. I feel like I’m back at square one. Since I have already confessed to Jesus and to others..what now?
Confession is a great first step— but confession alone will not produce a heart change. It might provide some relief but that will soon wear off. Creating a plan of action and pairing it with sincere accountability from trusted people in your immediate sphere of influence is crucial. Craig Gross talks openly about this and what it should look like in his book OPEN.
Look into securing accountability and you may also want to consider joining a group like The X3groups! A group environment with your peers can encourage you and provide some reinforcement with your goals and plan of action.
Hi my name is Samuel. I would love to say my addiction has ended, but its not that simple. Right now i am sober for some time, but I am not counting that because i feel that I should focus on sober days, but on my relationship with god. Your site is so far helping me a lot. And there is one question i got for you: What do you think about music I listen? Does it affect me if I am listening not christian music which is mostly dance music and of course theme is of course “love”. I mean these songs are often about some guy/ woman singing about sex but in very indirect way i think., because in music videos you can see it clearly. So what do you think is music which I am listening too important?
I think if you’re asking the question then perhaps something inside of you already knows the answer [for you]. 😉
I think everyone is different but I can tell you for me personally, there is some music that I once loved and listened to for years that I simply cannot listen to today because of where it “takes me” in my mind. I think it depends on the person and shouldn’t become a legalistic matter. I also believe that what we allow into our minds should be edifying and conducive with the way in which we want to live.
If you’re listening to music with lyrics that are constantly pouring sex sex sex into your mind-space then yea I think you may have an issue since you struggle in this area to begin with and should reconsider it.
Hi,
My fiancé has confessed to me that he struggles with watching porn and masturbating about once per month but not necessarily every month. He went all the way with previous girlfriends but we have put boundaries in place in our relationship so we have remained abstinent. Is it possible to struggle with porn occasionally but not be addicted? Is our relationship doomed?
I don’t know if your relationship is doomed but struggling with porn consistently, even if it is once a month is still a threat to your fiancé’s spiritual condition. Have you guys talked with your pastor or anyone about this? Is your fiancé getting any type of help or being held accountable to any degree on this issue? I wouldn’t want to enter into a marriage with anyone unless I knew without a doubt that this was dealt with first.
Porn doesn’t belong in marriage in my opinion and it certainly doesn’t belong in a Christian marriage. It is a lie. It is a set up to fail. Also don’t believe the lie that once you are married your marriage bed will cure this problem. THAT is false. I’m not trying to scare you— just trying to point you to some counseling from your pastor or a trusted godly friend who is walking out a life of integrity.
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