Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Is Masturbation wrong?

Until Mid January of this year I had watched porn, read erotic stories, and masturbated nearly on a daily basis. It didn’t start of that way but more slowly. It took me a full year of feeling guilty until I heard of this X3Watch app from a friend of mine so I asked my mentor if he would be willing to be my accountability and confessed of my doings. I have been clean for about 2 1/2 months now! Yay! I find it really hard. Honestly, harder now than it was when I watched the porn everyday. Because now, for one thing I don’t have an “escape” I can go to. Even though I have cleared myself of the porn, my mind is still going crazy. And I am still struggling with masturbation. Is masturbation right or wrong? Does the bible day anything about it? If so, where? And what does it say? I have heard a lot of people say it is alright if you don’t fantasize about others While doing it but keep it to yourself. Others say, it is completely normal. While still others say it is wrong. I guess my question here is, who is right? Will it hurt me and my future husband when we get married? Does it hurt me purity wise?

We have had literally thousands of emails about this particular issue. We have heard all the scenarios. “Well if I think about fruit while I’m masturbating, then that is not a sin.” Well isn’t that clever. Or…”If I’m giving glory to the Lord while I’m doing it, then that can’t be wrong.” Hmmm. Why don’t we just make that part of our Sunday morningspan> services then? We have heard all the Pro-masturbation Christian arguments and we wonder if these people are dealing in reality. It’s all very intellectual and quite scholarly, but we still don’t get it. Sorry.

Our stance is simply this: you want to live a life that is honoring to God then start pleasing him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes, it is tough. Yes, we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time! It is a selfish act that pleases no one but YOU. God created sex to be between a man and his wife. Not a man and his girlfriend and not a man or woman with himself or herself.

Masturbation

I was addicted to porn for a number of years and God through this time has set me free from watching it. Attacks still come but I don’t watch porn. Instead, sometimes I masturbate. Not as much as when I watched porn, but from time to time. I feel I am improving but I feel like it has a hold. Any specific help for a guy in my situation?

From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com or you can get the pro version which has a filter on it as well. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
Another way to get good accountability and a safe place to do it is with an X3 Groups Online group. You can find out more about it at www.X3groups.com It is a great program.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.

pornography, masturbation

Ive been watching porn for a year now and I dont want more of it, ive been masturbating to it and the bad thing is that im badly in love with christ and i dont want Him out of my life. Every other day i go through the same routine of mastubation.how do i take down this routine??

We understand that this is a tough battle that you are going through right now and you need to get it under control with being such a young age. Admitting to the fact that you have and addiction to this is one of the first steps.

Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.

After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.

After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.

Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and that God loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.

Latest Blog Posts

VIEW ALL POSTS
Gratitude Feels Fake When You’re Still Hurting — But It Might Be What Saves You.

by

Gratitude Feels Fake When You’re Still Hurting — But It Might Be What Saves You.
Grace Over Guilt

by

Grace Over Guilt
Grace & Gratitude: A Seat At the Table

by

Grace & Gratitude: A Seat At the Table
Inside Out

by

Rebuilding from the Inside Out
Eight Habits for Living in Grace and Gratitude

by

Eight Habits for Living in Grace and Gratitude
The one thing every great story needs

by

The One Thing Every Great Story Needs

Resources

Sex + Christian Parents
The Very Good Sex Talk
Live Free Wives
Small Groups Online

Join Our Mailing List

Sign up for Weekly Encouragement and Advice

 

Thanks for Signing Up

Please make sure you do these two things so you get your emails:

1. Add [email protected] to your address book

2. Mark your 1st email from us as NOT SPAM

PS. Find out how you can make sure our emails get to your inbox here.

Sign-up for free today!

Please provide your best contact information so we can send you the action plan. It's totally free.

We respect your privacy and never share your data.

 

Get Our 10 Day Freedom From Porn Action Plan

Sign up and get our free plan to help you break free from porn use and start living the life you were meant to live.