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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Hello I’ve been watching pornography for about 3 years now and I’ve become saved and I continue to watch porn its a strong temptaion, I’ve told my sister and she said she’d guide me since we’ve both decided to dedicate our lives to Christ but I still continue to screw up and watch pornography and masturbate like every other day I ask God for forgiveness but its hard for me to forgive myself, I dont know what to do so I can stop permanently.
The biggest thing you need to do is bring on real change. We can tell our selves that we want to stop or that we will stop but, unless we bring about real change we will never get rid of this.
You need to understand the reason you go to porn, When you go to porn, your triggers, and your patterns. Develop a plan around this and start putting the plan in to action based on your knowledge of your viewing.
Also get accountability with your computers or mobile devices. Get software like X3 Watch Pro and use it.
You have to also understand Gods unconditional love for us as well. He has sent His son to pay the ultimate price for OUR sins. There is nothing that we can do or have done that will take His love away from us. Once you understand this you will be able to start understanding how to forgive yourself better.
Know that you are not alone in this battle and that you can overcome this issue. We are praying for you.
I am probably considered a recovering porn addict for about a couple of years, yet due to our present day media–depending on one’s definition of porn–I am unfortunately exposed to rampant sexual images and references all around me. My best friend recently made a statement that I think God used to further me along in a recent breakthrough. We were preparing for an exam, more like cramming, and she mentioned wishing she had a photographic memory. I told her that I have a photographic memory and that is sometimes why I (but I don’t think she heard me). She continued on to say: “That’d be cool to have a memory like that except those people probably can’t forget certain memories or bad things they’ve seen, and that would suck.” I was shocked, because I realized that was me who she talked about and yes it has a downside. God is working on me. Everyone on this site, we are all works-in-progress, as with every Christian. My question is will I ever be able to get such graphics that I once or even recently lusted after out of my head? Or am I subliminally holding onto those images and using my memory as an excuse for their stay in my mind?
Once you have started to get accountability and start solid recovery yu will have less interactions with these images but, I do not feel you will get rid of these images forever.
What is going on is you have trained your brain to like these images and situations over time. Now you have to re-train your brain to not need these images and situations. This will come the longer and longer you abstain from looking at pornography or going to pornography for your fix.
During my recovery at about the six month point I found my self having thoughts or images pop in to my head every where I would go; even church. This was my brain trying to to get something it thought it needed because of the abuse I did to it. It will take time to remove these thoughts and they will pop up from time to time. Just know that the further you remove yourself from it the less you will have these thoughts or pop up moments.
Last month, I told my girlfriend that I had been dealing with pornography addiction, and that I needed help. I started crying in the process, and instead of getting mad at me and yelling, she showed me Christ’s love and comforted me. She realized I needed help, and although hurt, she helped me to find the help I needed. The battle with my pornography addiction is ongoing, and I have accountability software, and more importantly, Jesus on my side. I’m certain I will be victorious through Him, but I have another problem that needs help being solved. My girlfriend is in a lot of pain because of my actions, understandably so. It is extremely easy for me to find help for my addiction on the internet, but I can’t find a support group or a program or anything to help my girlfriend cope with the pain. Does anyone know what resources/groups are out there for the secondary victims of pornography addiction, as in the loved ones who are affected by a porn addicts actions?
This area is all to often missed because of the attention that is directed at the person with the struggle. One place I would like to have your girlfriend check out first is a group called Partners For Purity. This is a group that is managed by others who know where your girlfriend is at and how to help work through her feelings and questions.
There are other resources below as well just click on the links. Some may referance married couples but, the pain she is feeling will be similar.
Please know that she or you are not alone in this. We are praying for you.
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