BLOG
Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
it has been just over a year since i came clean to our pastor and have had x3 watch installed on my computerS and still struggle trying to “beat” the x3 watch, i catch myself doing it with google images and myspace.com I have just started reading Every Mans Battle, hoping i can clear some things up. i need more prayer, i feel like i am in a hopeless situation that i keep trying to dig myself out of, I know God is after me as i feel him tugging at me all the time. my wife does not know and i have been advised not to tell her, but i would like to get some things on the computer like a filter, etc. what steps do i take now?
Who has told you not to tell your wife? I believe that honesty is the best way to go. You need to have support during this time. You can not do it alone. If you get a filter on your computer and have an accountability partner I would not make that your wife.
Is there a reason that soneome told you not to tell your wife? I think that this should be your first step. Support is a huge factor in the recovery process. So if you can not tell your wife you need to find someone else that you trust to help you with this.
I have a huge problem, its like 4 am and I am still addicted to this scourge, I know tomorrow morning I’ll feel like vomiting then i will tell myself never again and then the cycle continues. My problem started like this, up to the time i was 21 (I am turning 23 now) I had never kissed a girl, I thought if I preserved myself my future wife will also. However the loneliness got too much and I got into a relationship with a christian girl, however this relationship from the get go was filled with lust, although we didn’t have intercourse i did regrettable things. However I also found out she wasn’t a virgin, and this rocked my world because my whole life I grew up believing if I kept myself my wife would keep herself and it suddenly dawned on me that my wife may probably have had a full sexual experience and this coupled with the stuff that we did made me very bitter to the point i am on the verge of giving up the fight for sexual purity. I mean I have tried everything I have been trying to fast once a week since February, I have been trying to pray and/or worship God for at least 45 minutes a day, I am in 3 accountability groups, you name it I have tried it, and it only seems to be getting worse. The most i have gone is six weeks then I fall. One of the main reasons I broke up with her was of her previous sexual experience and the temptation the devil used to put in my head, “she didn’t wait why should you?”, it got to a point it was so overwhelming that i just broke it off despite the fact I loved her I don’t claim to be perfect and i know i should forgive her but I don’t know what to do with the bitterness in my life which I suspect is the cause of my addiction. Now these porn seeks to destroy me I will do anything to overcome this poison. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME I HAVE HAD ENOUGH I JUST WANT TO WIN!!!!
Joshua
First you need to stop beating your self up over this and start moving forward. We can not change the past it is what it is.
Tell God and come clean with him. Even though he knows what you have done he wants to hear it from you and know that you are ready for this change. Then find someone who will hold you accountable to this new life and will be willing to call you out if you step away from it. Get accountability software and a filter. Have someone else set the password so you will not change it back.
If you want a solid relationship with this girl you need to tell her about this and not hide it from her. Include her in your struggle and work at it together.
Know you are not alone in thsi and that we are praying for you.
I struggle with homosexuality as well as pornography…i was wondering if there was a group in fresno county area that i could get involved with…
Anthony,
I am sorry but I do not know of a group in that area to direct you to. Send me an email about this again to [email protected] and I will send a email out to friends in that area to see if they know of one.
Sign up for Weekly Encouragement and Advice
1. Add [email protected] to your address book
2. Mark your 1st email from us as NOT SPAM
PS. Find out how you can make sure our emails get to your inbox here.
Please provide your best contact information so we can send you the action plan. It's totally free.
We respect your privacy and never share your data.
