Questions

A year ago I learned that my husband had been addicted to porn for our entire 12 year marriage (and the 3 years we dated). His addiction began at the age of 12 and he was able to hide it from me. While he has been “porn free” for a year we still continue to have the same struggles regarding intimacy. While I am thankful that he is not longer watching porn, his ED in the bedroom has been a problem for us since our wedding night (we didn’t have sex until our wedding night because). Unfortunately, I never addressed it with him during our marriage because I was worried that I would shatter his self-esteem if he knew that I was unfulfilled. He possesses so many other good qualities that I made the mistake of not talking to him about this area of our lives together.

I’ve read and watched some of your brief videos and while I understand that intimacy between a wife and husband is important, what does the wife do when she can’t be intimate with her husband because of his ED. I have suggested my husband seek counsel because I feel the ED is emotional and a result of over 24 years of self gratification. However, he is unwilling to do so.

I constantly hear that sex is a way to increase a man’s self-esteem and draw husband and wife closer together. What about the wife who is not satisfied and is frustrated because her husband cannot maintain an erection for more than 30 seconds for the entire length of their marriage. I am so incredibly frustrated and just don’t know what to do and I can’t seem to find any resources that answer that question. Yes….Viagra is an option….but that is not the solution. Just looking for insight and maybe some answers. Thanks

Hello! I discovered your sight the other day because I had recently deleted my tumblr account due to the excessive use of it to look up innapropriate things and I have been clean for three days! To me I consider this a big victory and I thank God for it every morning. Howver I have been remembering in high school I didn’t want to date most of the guys in my class because to be honest with you a lot of them were jerks but that automatically meant in highschool world that I was gay. Now I’m very happily married to an a man that’s the best thing since sliced bread but their words still haunt me to this day and at times I thought they were right. Do you have any tips to help me with my thought life and forgiving these people?

Hi, I have 4 kids, 3 boys (2,4,6) and 1 daughter (8). My 4 & 6 yos share a double bunk bed, the top is a single and usually empty, The bottom is a double and the boys like to sleep together there.
Tonight I overheard the boys giggling and heard my 6yo say “Can I touch it?” I burst into the room asking what the hell was going on and my 6yo kept saying “Nothing.” or “I don’t know”. Anyway, I finally got out of them that my 4yo was playing with himself and became hard and my 6yo saw and asked to touch him. I told him he is not to touch anyone’s body, that those areas are private for his touch only and was quite angry that it happened (I believe he should know better.) So we’ve split them into the top and bottom bunk now.
Anyway, I know I did not handle this right, but would just love advice on the best way to handle this going forward. I plan on having a discussion about it in the morning, but I am concerned my son is focused on “getting caught” rather than the issue of it being inappropriate to touch his brother’s private parts. He even said something like if someone did it to him that he wouldn’t tell us (indicating he doesn’t want to get in trouble so would avoid telling me. This is of course not what I want so would love your advice.