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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Can a person loose their salvation from porn use? I was recently listening to a well known christian speaker, who said, “Sin drives God away from you”, he continued to tell
about how God can turn his back on you when you have been involved in sin for awhile. At that point, you are condemned, and you will not be able to get God to change
his mind. You have actually reached the end of God’s grace. No amount of crying and repenting will work. I know it describes this situation in Romans 1;21-31. This is what
happened to Saul in the old testament. I have been involved in pornography for 15 years, and my relationship with him is ruined.
Does sin drive God away from you?
Instead of me giving you my opinion, how about I give you God’s word?
“If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.” -Psalm 139:8
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:38-39
I am aware that in Hebrews there is warning about “trampling the blood of Christ” and taking grace for granted (sinning for the sake of being covered and therefore without any reverence) and also Romans talks about God turning people over to their sin and allowing them to enter into depravity. But keep in mind the latter is ultimately to bring about repentance and a turning back to God.
God pursues us and His desire for us is for us to turn from our wicked ways and follow Him for our good. Not because He is hellbent on sending us there! Just the mere fact that you are worried is a good sign that you still have conviction! I think a balance of the Word is needed.
I hope this helps somewhat… and no, I do not think your relationship with Him is ruined. Please spend more time in His word and in His promises.
Working through my addiction, I understand the things I should keep far from my mind. I wonder, however, if fantasizing about my wife is okay. Lots of times, I’ll visualize her wearing only a bra and panties (or less). I also daydream about the two of us having sex. I understand the whole point of marriage is that I have one person with whom I can do these wonderful things, but is fantasizing about them only fueling my addiction?
I think this is a tough one for me to answer because there are some that would say any type of fantasy is still not including your wife and is focused inward. Personally though (and it’s just that- my opinion) I see nothing wrong with your mind being fixed on your wife when you are apart. You are taking delight in her and in what awaits you when you come back together again in the marriage bed. Now… where your fantasy goes from there is the question. If it causes you to act out in self pleasure then what benefit is it to your marriage bed or to the intimacy you share with your wife? So again- there is really more to this question than just a blanket answer.
I am a life long Christian, grew up in a Christian home and profess Jesus as my savior. I used to use and look at porn. I’ve confessed to my wife that I had a problem a addiction. I have not gone into details about exact types and videos I’ve watched. she has forgiven me. I move on, but keep feeling guilt about these things I’ve seen. Should I go into the deepest details of my porn addiction? I feel she understands the depth of my sins. How do I move on and accept gods grace and forgiveness for me? Do I need to tell her every last detail?
I absolutely would not recommend giving the details. What good or healing can possibly come from that? I am speaking from a wife’s perspective. And I can tell you that knowing these details only caused further trauma and delay in healing and restoration.
I would say a “need to know” basis is a good enough. If you however feel a need to share the details for whatever reason then I would suggest doing so with your pastor or accountability partner.
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