BLOG
Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Okay, I have been married to my husband for a little over a year. We have been together for almost 4 years. For the past few months we only have sex once or twice a week, three times at most! We used to have sex everyday at least once and up to 4 times a day, and occasionally skipping a day here and there. I am very confused as to what is going on. Its not like the bedroom isnt kept spicy Im always teasing him in different ways and trying new foreplay to get him going. I can still get him hard very easily. But before if he went longer than three days without sex he would cum in like 5 min or less, now its 7 or 8 days between sexual contact and he lasts forever. I also consider masturbation cheating, because there is no reason to pleasure himself when he has someone who will do everything he wants and desires. Same thing with porn, because if he lusts with his eyes he has already committed adultery! And Our bedroom has never lost its flame like this before, I need advise! He knows and has known what I consider cheating from the word go, when we first dated! Am I crazy?? help please! I dont know what else to do?
I don’t want to minimize your concern or what you feel is problematic. I just know that many married women would be so overjoyed to have sex with their husband’s once a week let alone 2-3 times. Every single day and even several times a day is quite excessive for the long haul. I’m not convinced that your husband is seeking out self pleasure or anything else if you both are together 2-3 times a week but if you seriously think there is a problem then I would suggest the two of you seek a marital counselor together to discuss your concerns.
My fiancé is everything I prayed for. He has so much love for Jesus in his heart. He has the same dreams as me and we both share the same heartbeat for ministry. Our friendship and foundation was built upon our similar visions for the kingdom. However, despite how wonderful he is to me-he just can’t overcome the final step of freedom from his sexual addiction. He has taken all the right steps needed for freedom… I am writing you today because I need to know a fresh way to challenge him in love to finally get rid of this crap before our wedding(in November). I have told him everything I know to say. I don’t know how to respond anymore. I am growing very weary. I never want to give up on him.
Hi Lauren,
This does not go away in marriage… trust me on that. I had all of those things with my husband every single one of them… this was the one area that he was stuck in and I really beleived that if I was a good safe place and once we were married could have all kinds of crazy good marital sex then we’d be good to go and he would not need the porn!
That was true for 6 weeks. And then it all began in our marriage. He finally made a choice 10 years into our marriage but it wasn’t me. Shockingly to everyone, he chose the world. Many never saw it coming… I really believed that God had a plan to use us in ministry together and even believed it would be to help others like you and your fiance. Sadly… that wasn’t the case. I wish I had listened to God when He was revealing everything in the light before marriage.
I would recommend Pure Life Ministries to you both. They have a one time counseling call for situations like this and they also offer other counseling options.
I have an amazing husband, father, and friend. He has a special app on his iPod and regularly looks at porn. He just doesn’t know I know. I know his pass code. I am trying so hard to be the best wife I can be, pray for him, me, our family daily. I give him to The Lord daily and forgive him daily. I just don’t know if I should say anything or not. A little advice would be helpful.
Secrets are still secrets whether he is keeping them or you are. We believe that a transparent and honest marriage is the best marriage therefore we would encourage you to talk about it with your husband. Of course in a non judgmental and non shaming way. It sounds like you have that part down.
You both might want to watch our recent webinar together.
Best wishes
Sign up for Weekly Encouragement and Advice
1. Add [email protected] to your address book
2. Mark your 1st email from us as NOT SPAM
PS. Find out how you can make sure our emails get to your inbox here.
Please provide your best contact information so we can send you the action plan. It's totally free.
We respect your privacy and never share your data.
