Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Masturbation

I am 32 years old and am a Christian. My husband is as well. I know that we have both seen pornographic videos, but it is not something I would say either one of us is addicted to. However, he has recently started working out of town a lot and is away. Sometimes, I miss him and want to pleasure myself. I’m not sure if that in and of itself is wrong. I didn’t need any visual stimulation to do it. I would just think about my husband. However, the longer he is gone, it takes me longer and longer to be “satisfied” and I sought out visual stimulation. I know that aspect of it is wrong and I always feel guilty about it afterwards. I don’t know what to do and I haven’t talked to my husband about it either. I want to but don’t know where to start. What are your thoughts?

I think you need to have open communication in your marriage in all areas for it to be healthy. This means confessing when you have fallen short.

With regards to whether it is a sin or not (the masturbation without visual)– only you know if you are convicted or not but… like you said… it led to something more so that might be your answer.

Best wishes.

marriage and pictures

I have been married 12 years to the same man I feel in love with. We have been through many, many downs and a few ups, and obviously still trying to find answers to a few things. I could write a book on here looking for answers to questions I have, but…. I need to know if I should send explicit pictures of myself to my husband. Before I found Jesus, I did this without hesitation, but I feel like I shouldn’t do it now. We have also had many conversations as to whether porn is okay. I hate it, he lies to me about watching it, but I always find it or know when he has viewed it. I don’t feel that he watches it a lot, but I should be the only one he craves for intimacy. I am sure I already know that I shouldn’t, but he and I weren’t saved when we met and were married. There are a lot of things that I am trying to change and he is still on the fence (“pie and eat it too”). Thank you for your help and suggestions in advance! Bobbie 😉

“Before I found Jesus, I did this without hesitation, but I feel like I shouldn’t do it now.”

I think you answered your own question. 😉

We actually get this question often. I would say “no”. Save yourselves for eachother for when you can be together. Pictures serve a purpose which means he is still gratifying himself. Then what? Then off to something else… that’s just how it works.

Maybe some counseling would be beneficial for both of you.

Best wishes as you work through it!

My husband is battling addiction to porn, and I’m battling trust issues.

Me and my husband have been married a year now, but we had been best friends for at least 7 years before that. I know the man that I married. About 2 months ago I discovered he was looking at porn. Now, I’m the kind of woman who if I discover a problem, I want to sit down and deal with it. We got everything on the table; How it started, our thoughts and feelings on it, and a plan to stop it before it gets worse. We haven’t told anyone due the complications it would cause, so we are sticking this out on our own, and I know how difficult that is… I have made it a point to ask my husband dang near every day on how he is doing. I told him fear and shame are not an excuse to keep this from me, that I was here to help him, Encourage him that he can overcome this. Since that day, he tells me that he has been clean. I used to believe everything he told me, but now I find I have put up a defensive wall towards his words. I have forgiven him but trusting him is becoming increasingly difficult for me, and I know relationships cannot stand without trust. Any advice and scriptures related to this issue would be greatly appreciated. I want to trust my husband again, and not feel like an idiot for doing so.

A mutlitude of godly counsel comes to mind.

I think you both need to get into counseling. You can’t fix or monitor this for him.

As far as trust goes… well… it is earned. If he hasn’t earned it, he hasn’t earned it. Respect is different. We must respect our husband’s regardless because we are told by God to do so but trust… that is something different. Finding the balance between the two can be very hard which is why the multitude of counsel sounds necessary.

Best wishes