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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. Off and on throughout our marriage I have suspected that he has viewed porn online. This past December, I discovered that he had retrieved emails of other women off of chat rooms and was emailing several of them sexual content. After a serious of sessions with a pastor, we have had a roller coaster of ups and downs. However, I felt that the emails must have stopped. However, I was wrong and found out this week he has started back emailing other women again. Would you consider this a porn addiction or a sex addiction? My husband finally admitted that he had a problem. He said he started viewing porn online during high school and has off and on since, but recently it changed to chatrooms and emails. As broken as I am, I decided it was best to move out with my two small sons. He is getting help from our pastor, but is this help going to be enough? How long should I keep my family separated? It is extremely hard to stay away from him right now for me and my boys. Any help or suggestions are needed and welcome.
Dear Meghan,
Did the pastor suggest the separation or is that just something that you felt you needed to do?
You might want to consider counseling through Pure Life Ministries-– they are the pioneers of this type of ministry and I really think you and your husband should look at their Overcomer’s at Home program unless you feel God leading your husband to go to their live in program.
God bless you.
Today I just found out that my husband has a porn addiction. I basically feel like I am being cheated on. I don’t know what to do or how to bring it up to him that I know. I am feeling totally lost.
Dear Natalie,
I am so sorry that your husband has hurt you. You are not alone. I would suggest that you look at the spouses section of our website to find resources to help encourage and strengthen you as you walk through this.
If you are struggling with communication then my recommendation would be to sit down with your pastor or a counselor. Have you checked out Pure Life Ministries? Their biblical counselors are all men and women who have dealt with this issue in their past and are walking in victory. They are a great support and have been doing this type of ministry for over 25 years. We also have many resources here at XXXchurch. Be sure to check out both the men’s and women’s section (look for the spouses blogs and resources in the women’s section).
God bless.
My husband has struggle with addiction to porn and masturbation since early adolescences. It has been almost a year since he gave me full disclosure and started work in a step program. But he has a relapse every one to two months. How do I, as a wife, handle these relapses ? Do they mean he is not taking his recovery seriously? How do I set healthy boundaries but allow him to relapse? Thank you
Dear Nikki,
Our hearts go out to any spouse that has to deal with this in their marriage- however we are encouraged to hear that your husband is putting accountability in place as well as a program to help him journey through this. Keep your eyes on Christ and not on your husband’s failures. And also remember you are not “allowing” him to relapse- he is choosing to relapse. He needs to own his own stuff and you your own. Don’t take on his recovery and don’t make it about you. We know how hurtful it is but you can really help him by standing in the gap and praying and seeking out a support group for yourself. Please visit our spouses section for those resources and suggested groups.
God bless you and your husband.
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