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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Is there a way out? I’m so sick of taking part in these behaviours and feeling so isolated and condemned because I’m doing it. I don’t want to be apart of it but it has consumed me. I’m scared I’ll never get out!
Amy,
We understand that this is a tough battle that you are going through right now and you need to get it under control with being such a young age. Admitting to the fact that you have and addiction to this is one of the first steps.
Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.
After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.
After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.
Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and thaGod loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.
I currently have filtered internet through integrity, but its too slow. I am switching to att internet that will be bundled with my new dtv. Very fast , very cool , but unfiltered. Have a 17 year old at home still . How do I set up parental controls , blocks and filters for this new att internet? Thanks
Lisa,
We have the X3 Watch that will filter, provide accountability, and provide instant messaging if your computer access any adult sites. You can find this at www.x3watch.com You may want to talk to the folks at ATT and see what they may have as well in the parental controls options for their items.
XXXchurch volunteers,
I am a student at Greenville College in Southern Illinois. I and five other seniors are a part of a project in which we are seeking to address the ignorance that often accompanies the subject of pornography especially from within the Christian circle.
As we have begun researching the industry, the addiction, and its influence on society, we are increasingly aware of our own ignorance about anything porn-related simply because it is never talked about. Two of the guys in our group have overcome pornography addictions, two girls (including myself) were in relationships where the boyfriend looked at porn, one girl’s pastor-father is still struggling to overcome an addiction to porn, and the last guy has escaped the temptation all together.
Our goal for our project is simply to raise awareness about the ignorance of porn. Especially on our Christian college campus, students know it’s something a lot of people are tempted by and wrestle with, but are unaware to what extent. We plan to create a series of podcasts where we share our findings about pornography and specifically its influence on gender roles. The project will culminate in our speaking at a chapel service and a student-development sponsored event where we hope to have a discussion about the reality of pornography. In our research we came across Craig Gross’ book Dirty Little Secret and are incredibly intrigued at the boldness in which conversations are sparked about the subject and how relationships are being saved because of it.
We thought we would contact you asking for any advice about the best way to begin conversations about porn on campus, how to approach talking about addiction, and how to connect with an issue that is so hidden and filled with shame. Since the project revolves around porn’s influence on gender roles, any statistics, research, or stories from your experience in ministry would also be especially beneficial. Our final group presentation is December 6th, so to be in dialogue and contact with XXXchurch will be a great reference point and help for us.
We aren’t expecting a revival on campus as a result of our project, but we do hope to see conversations starting about pornography and the ignorance of the industry to be exposed. My boyfriend has had X3 watch on his computer for the past six months, and I am so grateful for your courage to address sexual sin and pornography. Thank you for considering being in dialogue with our group as we seek to explore the attraction and pain of pornography, its influence on gender roles, and how we, as the Church, should openly combat it.
Thank you,
Kaylee Sherman
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