Questions

Hello. I tried to download x3watch but I can’t find it on my computer anywhere. I have a dell laptop-will it not work on my laptop? Thanks!

Two weeks ago I discovered my hubby had been looking at porn. He said he wasn’t attached to it, would stop and we could pray together and move on. We deleted stuff, supposedly bought X3 (which isn’t working btw and support people haven’t emailed me back). So I bought the promise we’d work thru it. Then two days ago I found a stash on an external drive he druged up from deleted, but not really deleted cashe one day prior. (It is so uncanny the way God is not letting him sneak by with anything. I can’t even tell you the discernment or whatever in my heart. i have no words.)

So we had a HUGE confrontation and he was totally busted. Through a couple hours of Q&A I found out it’s been going on for about a year, off and on. Sometimes 4-6 weeks would pass in between the porn but he would always somehow find himself back there again. So we have put all of this out in the open between ourselves.
He has agreed to get an accountability partner. We just moved to Oregon from Georgia a year ago, the time this started happening. (wouldn’t you love it if i told you he’s a bible school grad.)

i have a couple of advice-seeking questions:
1. Would it be better to have a local accountability partner or one over the phone who lives far away away? The far away guy would be his best friend who understands him. Someone new would be a newer relationship, developed within the last year.
2. Will we need counseling together?
3. Will I need counseling myself?

To explain further, he brought it to my attention that he has OCD tendancies and the porn & OCD have most likely fed each other over the last 12 months. He has to obsess and put energy into something – he found a super unhealthy & destructive something, obviously. So should he seek counseling? Then on the other hand for me, I have told him i feel like I will be that nagging wife who keeps bringing this back up unless i have someone to help me thru this – and it can’t be him. i can’t talk to him about him. i don’t know if this makes sense, if i’m being clear but i guess i’m just not sure where we should go from here other than getting a better computer filter, getting accountability partners, and possibly a counselor. (btw, he’s a graphic designer/web guy. like that filter will be an easy buy.)

We are both working pro bono for a local christian nonprofit org in town and are scared to go to a local counselor b/c if our names and problems are ever associated with the organization we would hate to tarnish it. we want to move forward.

Currently he has asked me to put passwords on all of his computers, all of his users. like a 5th grader i have put pertinant scriptures all over our house to remind us of certain things, and we pray like 5 times a day, just randomly together. He said he feels like a huge weight is off of him. Forgiveness has happened but now what? I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of it than it is/was… but I don’t want to standby and hope it all goes away cause that doesn’t seem smart.

Help please : )

(p.s. so sorry this is SO LONG. this is the first time i’ve gotten anything “out” to anyone. thank you so much for reading.)

Sincerely,
Brooklyn

Hey there. My parents have been separated for a little bit more than a year now. I know neither of them have cheated or have abused each other, I’m very close with them. They tell me its been over 25 years of issues building up. I feel like they’re not telling me something, but when I ask them, they say that they don’t want to put one another in a bad light. That’s responsible I suppose.

I’ve been living with my dad for the past few weeks and I have a feeling that he’s either looking at pornography or engaging in some sort of cybersex. Everyday I feel like I keep gaining more and more evidence. I’ve personally struggled with pornography and masturbation. Thanks to a mentor, and the conviction of the holy spirit, I’ve come a long way out of this.

My main question is how do I approach my dad about this? Should I share with him what my struggles have been? I’m not sure how to go about this because I’m a female talking to my dad.

Thanks so much.