Questions

Hello, A friend of mine attended a church where you were preaching and said that there was something that you disgusted as far as putting something on your phone and or computer that can hold you accountable when you enter into any questionable material? I looked for it on your website, but have been unsuccessful in finding it. I am the spouse of a porn addict. Please help!!! God Bless

A long time ago my boyfriend told me that he would love to have a threesome. I wasn’t too hurt, I just didn’t know what to think. I told him that I didn’t want one and would never want one. He told me today that he didn’t want one only because he knew I didn’t want one and that it would hurt our relationship. I appreciate the fact that he has realizes what it could do to us, however, I am hurt…completely hurt. I am hurt because he didn’t say he didn’t want one because he truly and pure-heartedly didn’t want one…so to me it seems as if he still does. I told him how hurt I was and asked him why he would want to share our love, my body, or caress and have sex with some else. He said, “Because a threesome is just sex no emotions mixed its just three people all trying to stimulate one another”. I believe that there is no such thing as meaningless or emotionless sex because there has to be emotion to start the act and, even if there isnt any connection or emotion during, after the sex is over both sides feel emotion no matter what that emotion may be. Although he tells me he loves me and I am the only one for him, I also asked him and questioned myself on why I am not good enough to be the only woman he needs or desires? What should I say to him and how should I feel?

I have been married for 5 months, and I found out this morning that out of these 5 months my husband has been secretly viewing porn for 4 months. I’m a student and he has said he’s done it while I’m out at school.

I asked him in November (1 month into his porn viewing) if anything was up because I sensed some sort of unfaithfulness, but he denied it and convinced me that I was insane.

I since approached him about it a few times and he would lash out and tell me I was accusing him of impossible things.

Last night I asked him and after some interrogation he admitted to viewing it twice. This morning he admitted that it was much more than twice: he’d done it so many times since we were married that he can’t remember any of it, it’s all a blur.

I don’t know what to do. I’m furious, I’m broken, I’m sad. We waited for marriage sexually and I thought that was the one thing we shared together, that we could have for each other and he went and shared it with some women that he’ll never meet. He opened up our marriage for so much pain and I don’t know what to do. I’m hurting.

Do you have any thoughts? He says he wants to turn around but he’s too embarassed to get an accountability partner. This man’s problem isn’t lack of sex because we have it often, which makes me feel that his problem is me – I’m not good enough so he looks for someone else.

Please give some advice?