BLOG
Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
My boyfriend and I struggle with sex. We both want to wait, but we’ve already messed up a few times. We strive to not continue that pattern but it is so hard. Tonight I found out that he watches porn every other day. I was/am so hurt and I feel so alone…how do I support him in quitting without getting myself more hurt when he does mess up?
Katie,
First I want to address the issue of struggling with your boyfriend. You cannot encourage him in his fight for purity if you are engaging in any kind of sexual activity with him. You both need to put up some serious boundaries in your relationship that you may not like too much but that will honor God and each other. You should not spend time alone together without other couples or friends present. You both need your own accountability partners and should not be each others accountability partner where sexual matters are concerned.
Secondly on his struggle with porn and how you can encourage him. Pray for him- encourage him to get real male accountability and to be honest with his church leadership/ mentors.
It is not wise for you to try to control his problem or police it for him or to hold him accountable. He needs male accountability. This is between him and God. It comes down to that.
Check out “partners for purity” for the support and encouragement you need. The link to their site is in our resource section for the spouses.
MT
I have been married 15 years this mont and I am broken hearted. I got on my computer twoweeks ago and my husbands email poped up I thought it was mine and clicked on it. I found so much junk and he is messaging these girls. I confronted him and he swears he will stop. I cleaned out the porn in his room a whole paper bag full.and he can not use my computer but he is self employed and has his own shop. I am not able to moneter him there. I keep thinking when he is late coming home that he is down there looking. What if he has actually met with these girls. They are prosttutes that will meet him. How do I protect myself?
Nicki,
I am sorry that your husband has hurt you. Clearly by what you have shared he is struggling with internet porn and or online relationships. I am encouraged that he has agreed to stop. This shows that he does see it is destructive and needs to end it. However; statistics show that those who try to deal with this on their own usually do not have promising results. You can help him by suggesting that he download the X3watch program on his computers (home and work) and list you and a male friend as his accountability partners. If you are unaware of X3Watch- visit the get help section of our site for more information. The software will send a regular report listing any questionable sites that he visits. I would also recommend downloading a filter such as ‘safe eyes’. We offer a 14 day trial here at the site also.
Lastly Nicki, I encourage you to get some support. Hopefully you are locked into a church and have someone in women’s ministry that you can talk with. You can also visit our section for spouses for a list of websites that might be an encouragement to you in this season.
I installed the x3 watch the 1st of April and I’ve received a report once a week until the 20th/then teh 27 I still did’nt received a report. Could you tell me what the problem may be.
Does this mean someone has uninstalled the program?
Thanks Claire
We would recommend downloading the newest version of X3watch from x3watch.com and reinstalling the software. If the problem persists please consider purchasing x3watch Pro for a small donation to gain tech support.
This does not mean that the uninstalled. It may or may not be. We recommend an honest check up with those you are keeping accountable as well.
When the software is turned off and on it will be indicated on the report.
Sign up for Weekly Encouragement and Advice
1. Add [email protected] to your address book
2. Mark your 1st email from us as NOT SPAM
PS. Find out how you can make sure our emails get to your inbox here.
Please provide your best contact information so we can send you the action plan. It's totally free.
We respect your privacy and never share your data.
