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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Ive sealed with porn for close to 5 years. It’s been my little secret and I always feel like I can get away from it on my own. Recently I deleted all the bad photos in my phone but they stayed in my recently deleted folder on my iPhone. Fast forward to two weeks later. I’m on the bus sitting in front of the girl I like on our way to church camp. I love Jesus. Trust me I do. But recently I’ve fallen away from him and turned to sin. They were taking pictures on my phone ( the girl I like and her friend) and they decided to delete 1. But they also decided to delete it from my deleted folder. And they found everything. They didn’t say anything, just handed my phone back. I’m heart broken and I don’t know what to do. I found out about a week later when a girl who also saw it told me. I’m lost. I’ve put accountability partners I place and turned to the word. The theme of camp was abiding in God and I’m trying to do that. This isn’t a question but I need someone’s advice on the matter.
Well. Sin does that. It trips us up, it sets us up for disappointment, shame, embarrassment and so on. BUT… as a believer in Christ, you know that Jesus sets you free from all of it when you ask and repent. You have confessed. You have removed the stumbling block (according to what you have written) and you are seeking the Word, accountability and what seems like genuine repentance.
As uncomfortable as it may be, the only other suggestion that I could give would be to consider going face to face to both girls who were exposed to the porn on your phone and apologize. The apology should be given with no other agenda than to offer repentance for exposing them to what they saw on your phone. The apology is not driven by the fact that you “like this girl”. It must be from the heart for the sin you exposed them to.
That’s all I’ve got.
I think you’re on the right path.
I want to start an accountability group with my friend but it seems he is not too willing to do it although he admitted to me that he is a casual porn user like me. Should I consider somebody else?
In order for accountability to really work it must go both ways. You must have a commitment from all parties or your efforts are futile.
Consider reading the book OPEN to understand what accountability should really look like and the benefits that come from an authentic accountability relationship.
Hey,
I’m addicted to porn. I only started looking at hardcore a couple months ago, but have struggled with my controlling eyes for year (i.e. softcore). I’m a deeply committed Christian and I know the harmful affects of porn. I simply can’t seem to stop. I have an accountability partner who has installed covenant eyes to monitor my online activity. I either find ways around it or sometimes simply search anyways. I have fasted, prayed, memorized scriptures, and read online help for porn addictions. I struggle with extreme guilt and feel helpless. I promise never to do it again only to find myself doing it again a week or so later. I don’t want to buy anything online because my parents see my credit card activity (linked bank accounts). I guess I’m writing this because my goal was to stop my summer, but I have failed. What can I do? I feel like I have tried everything.
Thanks for any feedback,
J.
Dear J.,
You are not alone but you must set yourself up for a win if you are to break free of this.
Setting yourself up for a win means removing obvious stumbling blocks for yourself. Is it a computer in your bedroom? Move it to the living room. Is it wifi on your cell phone- turn it off or put an accountability software on it and USE it properly. There is a great book called OPEN that talks about accountability, what it is and how it is supposed to work. I highly recommend it.
You can also visit our START HERE section for more advice and resources.
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