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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Hi,
Is it normal to not watch porn but be addicted to masturbation? I’m female, I’ve never watched porn, but I experienced a traumatic episode where I almost lost my virginity against my will and since then I masturbate. The weird thing is that when I do I don’t think of any kind of fantasies, not imagining myself with Grey or anything similar. I just concentrate in the moment, but nothing else is in my mind! Nothing,an even though I’m addicted to it. Not porn, not sexual fantasies, but just masturbation. Is it normal ? That scares me…
I don’t think what you are describing is typical but it is not abnormal to have discovered and found masturbation pleasurable. It is something that is usually discovered at an early age and you are not the only woman who has done it without the aid of pornography. However- the fact that you label yourself an addict is what tells me that this is unwanted sexual behavior that you cannot seem to stop even though you want to. Therefore I would recommend that you seek to break free of it. We have an entire section for women on this site. I would suggest reading through the blogs and even seeking out bible study that deals with purity. There is a long debate as to whether masturbation is sin and everyone seems to have an opinion. Instead of debating that issue, I would suggest that you consider the conviction you are feeling about it as well as the knowledge that by continually stimulating yourself, you become dependent on yourself. It DOES end up interfering in some way with your sexuality in that you come to depend on your own touch, preference, stimulation etc. to reach satisfaction— this can be hard when you enter into a marital relationship and are trying to experience oneness and satisfaction without your own manipulation.
Best wishes!!
Why do I struggle with attraction towards transgenders? Im addicted to transgender porn and I’ve had sexual encounters with them. I want to get over it. I deny myself daily how it says in the bible. I just want to get pass this.
Thanks for your question.
There are a couple of things I want to mention. First- if you are struggling with an unwanted sexual addiction or behavior, I would highly recommend seeing a counselor. Porn use is pretty common to man and is highly addictive so most other men can counsel you on it and walk you through it. Bring in a fascination with or addiction to transgender and many are just not going to understand and when they are stumped, you are going to be in even more despair. So I would recommend seeking out a professional counselor who has dealt with this specific issue. www.SASH.net can help you find a local specialist in your area. Second, you said you are denying yourself like it says in the bible. If we truly denied ourselves the desires of the flesh we wouldn’t continue to fall. I would say that to deny yourself in this area would mean that you need to cut off all the things that are feeding the root system of this core issue. If you use your computer to seek out transgender porn or encounters then at best get rid of it- at least put a filtering and blocking software on it so you are unable to use it as a way to feed your addiction. If it is your phone… get rid of it– go back to a phone without internet.
Many will make a list of excuses of why they can’t do that. (I need it for work/ school / this / that/ insert excuse here. But if you want to be FREE you will do whatever it takes and then allow God to restore you and lift you up. He will care for you.
Best wishes.
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and he struggles with porn. He keeps giving me empty promises to stop and I don’t know what to do. I love him and I want to stay with him but he lies to me about it and I can’t trust him with porn. It is obvious he doesn’t want to change for him and is only stopping because I say so, so what can I do? Please help me. I’m tired of being depressed and crying myself to sleep.
You can move on.
Recap what you said:
“He keeps giving me empty promises–he lies — I can’t trust him — he doesn’t want to change — I’m tired of being depressed and crying myself to sleep”
Again, move on.
You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you and while I know this is huge in terms of a broken heart, I promise you, it will get better. Pursue your hobbies, interests and dreams! Life is worth living and what you are experiencing is not living!
This is a nasty beast for men and women to deal with when they WANT to so I can’t imagine staying with someone that clearly doesn’t want to stop.
Best wishes
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