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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I like to watch porn and then masturbate, I dont like it and i feel guilty after. What can i do instead of watching porn?
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I want to encourage you that you are not alone. There are so many other women who are experiencing the same struggles as you and we are praying for you. I also want to encourage you to find someone you can trust, who understands sexual addiction and you can share your story with. Satan would love to keep you and your struggle in darkness but God has a better plan, and that is for full healing and freedom, which can only happen when this is brought to the light.
I started watching porn a few years ago, when I was about 11. The only reason I ever did was because I found out how to masturbate (by accident) and well it helped by watching porn. I struggled on and off over the years and I am addicted to masturbating, I enjoy it (even though I know it is bad). I have not watched porn for over a month now. This does make me happy, but I slipped recently and masturbated (without porn). Even right now makes me want to do it. I know it is bad. I want to stop. I know God has a better plan for me. But I do not feel close enough with anyone to confide in them about my problems (I’m surprised I’m able to write this to you, a stranger.) I do not want to tell my parents, I told them once before when I was 11 and I stopped for about a year. I don’t even remember how it came back. I do not want to be judged by my parents, I am afraid they will hate me, forever. I do struggle with my faith, but I am tired of wondering away. I feel alone as if no one is there. It hurts. I know you say to tell people and confide, but I just can’t. I have prayed and prayed. I want it to go away, I know it will stop me from having future relationships and having a healthy marriage. Does it ever go away fully? I do not watch porn anymore. I blocked the websites of my computer and phone, but the images are always going to be there. I feel like crap. I feel as if God no longer cares, I have gone to far. I must be going to Hell now. What can I do? Is there no other way out of this then to confide in someone? Do I have to tell my parents? How to pornography get so rampant in our culture? I hate myself for this.
No you are not going to hell but, you need to confess this to God right now and ask for His forgivness. He knows you and He will listen to your heart.
I would suggest tellling your parents so that you can set in motion the recovery that you need. Do you want to keep feeling this way? The short period of time that you feel down telling your parents will not be nearly as long as if you do not tell them and fall further.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that God loves you so much and wants for you to run away from this and to Him.
About two years ago, I joined my local Fire and Rescue Squad as a way to find the camaraderie and role models I was lacking at home- my father was effectively out of the picture and I did not get along with my mother. I frequently found myself making bad choices, and watching porn as a way to both spite my parents and escape my current reality. Surely, becoming a firefighter would expose me to strong christian men who dedicated themselves to service of others. Unfortunately, I found that the culture within the squad was heavily influenced by pornography, drinking, and irresponsibility. Desperate to fit in, I dived into their activities and was welcomed- not just a rookie, but as one of them. I found myself torn: on one hand, I had found the camaraderie I was looking for, but I knew the things we did off duty were just as wrong as the things we did on duty were right. I truly love serving others, and the communion I feel with my brother firefighters, but I don’t want to hate myself for the conversations we have while washing the truck, the way I find myself looking at women, or the thoughts I have late at night. How can I stop doing these things, yet stay a part of my squad? I want to be a true man of God, but I don’t want to alienate the men who my life could depend on. While I struggle to find my path here, I’m worried about what will happen after I leave home. I’ve enlisted in the Coast Guard, and I ship out for bootcamp in the summer. What happens if the military is the exact same way?
Just be you. It sounds like you have been putting on a front and not allowing you to be you during this time. If they are as good of guys as you say they are they will get it and understand. Talk, act, and respond as you would as you. Just be yourself and allow God to shine through you.
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