Questions

There is really no big secret. What we do is make it a lot harder than what it really is because of the fear that creeps in. Just sit down with your youth counselor and tell him everything that is going on. This person is there to help you get through this type of stuff. Be honest and open getting it all out in the open and allow for it to be done. 

<!–?xml version=”1.0″ encoding=”UTF-8″?–> We have had literally thousands of emails about this particular issue. We have heard all the scenarios. “Well if I think about fruit while I’m masturbating, then that is not a sin.” Well isn’t that clever. Or…”If I’m giving glory to the Lord while I’m doing it, then that can’t be wrong.” Hmmm. Why don’t we just make that part of our Sunday morning services then? We have heard all the Pro-masturbation Christian arguments and we wonder if these people are dealing in reality. It’s all very intellectual and quite scholarly, but we still don’t get it. Sorry.

Our stance is simply this: you want to live a life that is honoring to God then start pleasing him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes, it is tough. Yes, we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time! It is a selfish act that pleases no one but YOU. God created sex to be between a man and his wife. Not a man and his girlfriend and not a man or woman with himself or herself.

From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest www.safeeyes.com. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.

Another way to get good accountability and a safe place to do it is with an X3 Groups Online group. You can find out more about it at www.X3groups.com It is a great program.

You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.

All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.

Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.

Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.

Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.

Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.

Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.

Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.