Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Porn

How do I become free? I feel like no one is helping, I feel as though I am in it by myself, I like this girl so much and I fantasize about her sometimes when I am supposed to love her, and I ask god to change my mindset and yeah. Please help, my youth pastor said it’s a constant struggle but I believe i will get complete freedom and I just don’t know where to go because I can’t hear God’s voice.

We understand that this is a tough battle that you are going through right now and you need to get it under control with being such a young age. Admitting to the fact that you have and addiction to this is one of the first steps.

Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.

After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.

After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.

Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and that God loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.

Getting up after you fall, and pushing forward

Hey y’all, I have been battling porn for years, and with God’s help I’ve been taking ground. Well, I hav gotten into the habit of looking at the stuf one night, then being totally absent from it for a month or so, and then one night fall back again. How do you get up after you fall, keep pushing forward, and not fall again?

From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest www.safeeyes.com. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
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Another way to get good accountability and a safe place to do it is with an X3 Groups Online group. You can find out more about it at www.X3groups.com It is a great program.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.

Masturbation

Is masturbation always wrong

Yes; it is always wrong. We can work up thoughts in our head that make us feel like ti might be right but, this is a sexual act and God gave us this as a gift for marriage to be between a man and a women. Masturbation is a ver cheeap substatute for what the real thing is.

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Resources

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The Very Good Sex Talk
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