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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
I’ve been addicted to masturbating for a while, but I’ve never really been addicted to porn. I have a blocking software on my computer which is in my living room. I still can’t seem to stop masturbating. Just seeing certain scenes in movies or pictures of scantily clad women, not even pornographic, sets it off. Do you have any suggestions on how to stop this?
I know that porn is wrong, and am even trying to rid myself, physically and mentally of it…..my parents think that it’s okay though since they are not Christians….how do I avoid it when they are okay with me viewing it? How do I explain to them m Y situation in a way they will understand?
Tyler,
I do hope that your parents are not watching this in front of you and exposing you to this type of stuff. I would deffiniatly talk to someone you trust about this. I would suggest someone who is older than you that you can be open with and set up accountability to keep yourself pure. If you attend a church or youth group I would suggest talking to somone there hwo is on staff or a leader and bring them in this with you.
As far as your parents I would stay strong and hold on to your values with this. If they bring it up or are viewing this in front of you, tell them you do not want to be a part of that and ask them to stop. If they refues remove yourself from that situation.
I am praying for you and that you can stay away from this and find solid fredom of this sin.
When I first became a believer I gave up Drugs, Sex, and a completely sinful lifestyle in one night when i found Jesus. A few months into my relationship i accidentally fell into porn and from then on i couldnt stop. I watch it almost 3 times a week if not more and i feel like i’ve tried everything. I’ve had an accountability partner, i’ve confessed to my small group over and over, i’ve sought help from my parents but it only took me a couple times to realize my stepdad and mom take this as nothing more than to completely humiliate me and come up with nicknames to call me in public. I can’t stop and i hate it so bad. i have child locks on my computer right now but they are incredibly easy to get around. I’m a student and i can’t just avoid the computer its a huge part of my life. At this point i feel completely defeated and without any integrity at all. What do i do now?
You have already figured out the first couple of steps in your recovery with admitting your struggle, confessing it, and getting accountability. But, the one thing and I find to be the biggest thing for people is there seems to be a lack of what we call “Real Change”. You seem to exhibit the signs of what we call “White Knuckle Change”.
White Knuckle Change: Is the most common types of change that we see and the least successful type of change. This type of change happens when we have to make a change in our habits based on either getting caught or just a realization that we have to stop this and we say “I have to stop this” or “I will quite right now”. Typically this is followed by us removing adult content we have and maybe telling someone about it and the placing accountability software on our computers. These are all good things but, this is where most people stop and bring on the White Knuckle affect. Things go good for a while; maybe a month, two months, or even weeks. Temptation creeps in and we fight it for a while all the while clinching our fists say “no I will not give in I will not look at it”. (Hence the white knuckles) But, after time we give in to the temptation and look only to start the cycle once more.
strong>Real Change: This type of change is the most successful and solid type of change in recovery. Real Change cover more steps and takes you further into what this struggle is and why you do it. The first step is understanding why we look at this stuff and understanding the physiology of how our brains work in regards to addiction.
Once you have figured this the next thing is abstinence and removing this sin from your life. Being able to recognize and avoid sexual sin. What are your triggers, what type of environments set your trigger off, and what are your emotional triggers. This is a big key to figuring out a game plan to avoid your weak points and moving away from them or at least recognizing them and being prepared to move away from the temptation.
The third step and sometime hardest thing to do is acceptance of unconditional love. Not allowing your guilt and shame to dictate who you are or how you allow Christ and others to love you. Starting to recognize your lack of truth, self trust and boundaries. After accepting this you have to then put this to work.
Building this plan and sticking with it works and will work as long as you dedicate yourself to it. With real change you go back to the last step you where at and restart because you now understand why and how. With the white knuckle change you always fall back into the sin you where trying to get away from.
Do not think for one second that you are alone in this, because you are not. And remember there is nothing you can do that will take away the love of Christ for you. We are praying for you and your next step in recovery.
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