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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Outside of accountability, what other ways are there to break free from the addiction?
Also, I lead a group of young adults. How do I bring up a discussion of porn with those that may not see it as a problem? Some I talk to have no issues looking at porn.
When you say “outside of accountability” I hope you mean in addition to because we don’t believe that one will break free from this addiction alone. Not saying it is impossible but it is rare. In all of my years here, I’ve not met someone who has. In addition to accountability there are some things an addict should put into place. A lot of times a person who is addicted cannot see what those things are so I suggest asking yourself “What are some of the things an alocholic or drug addict can do to break free from their addiction” The obvious then comes to mind. Stay out of bars or around people that supply the drugs or alcohol. Get into meetings where you will find support etc. Those same things apply for the sex addict. Often times the user needs to remove the computer from their bedroom or home. Cut ties with your cable provider etc. It may sound extreme but so did Jesus when He said “if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off!” Some of this may sound “too legalistic” and for some people it may be, but different people have different triggers and different levels of addiction so it must be tailored to each person according to their habits.
With regards to speaking to people who do not think porn is an issue. If it is young adults in your church then you can turn to Scripture for that. If it is people in the world arguing this, there is no argument. We don’t argue with the world. We simply share what we believe and we make sure we are living it out.
I am able to overcome triggers to watch porn or masturbate during the day with activities such as going to the gym or simply doing something I need to get done etc. However, the time when the trigger becomes the most strong is when I am in bed with my eyes closed, trying to sleep. I have tried to overcome the trigger with music and prayer, but it’s tough some nights no matter what I do.
Would appreciate your help.
This can be a tough area for a lot of people. Try vigorous exercise one hour before bed time. Really physically exert yourself in a healthy way. Then move towards the prayer and music. Just a suggestion but it may help.
I took the test that is on your website and the burden of thinking that I had an addiction to porn in off my shoulders now! But that doesn’t matter when it comes down to the fact that I still look at porn sometimes. When I get the urge it seems like NOTHING can stop me from watching sex performed in front of my eyes that very moment. Anyways I have done the hardest part( in my opinion) which was to confess my dark secret to someone. I told my best friend and eventually told my mom. (They both exampled Gods love to me in their reactions after I told them). And I thought that because I confessed I was just going to stop. But I see now that was unrealistic. I feel like I’m back at square one. Since I have already confessed to Jesus and to others..what now?
Confession is a great first step— but confession alone will not produce a heart change. It might provide some relief but that will soon wear off. Creating a plan of action and pairing it with sincere accountability from trusted people in your immediate sphere of influence is crucial. Craig Gross talks openly about this and what it should look like in his book OPEN.
Look into securing accountability and you may also want to consider joining a group like The X3groups! A group environment with your peers can encourage you and provide some reinforcement with your goals and plan of action.
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