Questions

I didn’t receive my report this week. Is there a problem?

OK, so as a single woman in my early 30s, I (obviously) have normal, natural physical needs and desires that are not being met. Some people say that masturbation is the answer, but for me, it has never seemed to really satisfy and, quite the opposite, only leaves me feeling guilty and empty anyway. There are lots of issues on both sides of that coin. The “for” side says that it doesn’t hurt anyone and the Bible doesn’t talk about it so we should never feel guilty about it. The “against” side (which is where I tend to lean) says that Jesus had a lot to say about what is in your heart and mind, and in this case, he talked about lust as a sin. The problem with the “against” side is trying to figure out what to do with natural needs and desires and figuring out where that line may be as far as the thought life that goes with it. For me, the struggle with this, the inability to be satisfied, has led me to pornography, though I have been working hard, confessing, going through a lot of studies, and made a lot of progress in that area. But there is still the problem of desire and physical need…

Hi, I was 16 when I saw the first pictures and videos of pornography, which I can still remember. I didn’t really view porn on a regular basis, but would look at something every once in a while. Then I became a Christian February 2011, and had a period of about four or five months where I just forgot about what I’d seen before. Maybe I thought that it wasn’t a problem anymore because of the time gap. However, one day, I saw something by accident. All the ‘buried’ memories suddenly surfaced and I couldn’t stop them, so I viewed porn that day. I knew it was wrong. Christians don’t view porn. That was what I thought. But I couldn’t get the images out of my head. Steadily over the next year and a half, I became addicted. I’d look at videos and images- but I’d feel guilt, shame and condemnation afterwards. I’d pray about it, doubting that anything could really change, and it didn’t. Then one day, I was listening to some music and I saw a video that was a former porn actress telling her testimony, and how she came to know Jesus. So I listened to her story- and I cried. I knew that God had put that video there to get my attention. Over the next few months, I started to discover the truth, and I also found this website. So my recovery started. I began to build up the length of time I could stop myself viewing things, but it was only 2 weeks, 3 if I really tried. I got more angry with people though, and now I know it was because I was using all my willpower to stop, but wasn’t managing it. In February this year, I finally told a trusted friend at church, who has children of her own. I knew I needed to tell someone, so I did. my friend didn’t freak out like I thought, and she believed me. With her help and support- and putting God in my life more- I’m now able to go longer. I went 2 months before looking at something, so I began the process again As of writing this, I’m a month clean again. I’m thinking about telling my pastor’s wife, but don’t know if I should yet. I’m also struggling with whether to tell my parents or not. They’re not Christians, though they know I am, and I have a feeling that if I told my parents, they wouldn’t believe me, and they’d think I’m a freak or something. What would you suggest? So at the minute, I just want to build confidence in discussing my pornography addiction recovery with people at church. Is that the best thing of me to do, or do you think I should tell my parents? I’m just really scared that they won’t listen or something! Thanks for reading and God bless. ~Kelly.