Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Access to pornography

Ok, here’s a tough one for you guys 😉 I’ve recently become re-addicted to pornography and masturbation after a period of sobriety, I’m accountable to a youth pastor, and now I’m trying to rid myself of all access to pornography. HOWEVER the problem lies in the fact that there are two, easily accessible family iPads. I know the restrictions code for both of them, and consequently have been using them to access pornography through safari private browsing. I’ve told my dad that I know the codes and want them changed, but he works ALL the time and never changes them. Also, I know that if I do get the codes changed, I’ll still be able to access pornography through the youtube app on the iPads. So I would need the Apple ID password changed too. I feel so stuck! I can’t bring myself to ask dad again because he probably won’t do anything, and I can’t sell/destroy the pads because they aren’t mine, any tips?? Blake

Give the iPad back to who it belongs to.

Jesus said if your right arm is causing you to stumble then cut it off. Giving the iPad back seems to be a lot less painful.

dreams/wet dreams.

My youth pastor insists wet dreams and sex dreams are sin. He also says erections are sin. That when these things happen, it’s because we aren’t focused enough on God. What are you thoughts?

I am not sure where your youth pastor is coming from or the context in which he is saying this but based on what you have just asked- I will answer with just the info you have given. We do not believe either are sin.

The wet dreams are a normal way of release without self gratifiction and we all know that we cannot control our dreams. Now if someone is focused on inappropriate things all the time then yes- it can cause one’s mind to continue in that pattern after one is asleep— but this is not always the case.

How can erections be sinful when male babies who have no idea what sex is have erections! Now what you wilfully do with an erection can be a different story but clearly just getting an erection is not sin.

Masturbation, Porn, & Immense Guilt

I lost my innocence when I was little. I can’t really remember what caused it all. I’m a 15 year old girl who is currently struggling with porn and masturbation. I can go months without it happening, but then some thoughts creep back into my head and take over me and I fall once again. I have tried SO MANY TIMES quit, and finally leave it all behind me, but it’s so hard to leave it for good. I feel extremely guilty and ashamed after it’s happened. I feel like I’m not worthy of His love because I’ve masturbated and watched porn while I KNEW that I was sinning. I can’t listen to worship songs, pray, or go to church with having this much shame and guilt inside me. I have told my parents, and a few close friends, but it’s always very hard to talk about with them and bring it back up. I don’t know what to do at this point. I feel sorry for doing it, but I guess if I really was I wouldn’t keep coming back to it. All I want is to be freed from this burden, but how?

Talking about it once and never bringing it up again isn’t the answer. This is a real battle. You need those people who you trusted enough to go to for help to continually be a lifeline of prayer AND support AND encouragement for you– this only comes through TALKING about it.

Craig Gross’ book OPEN talks about this in great length. I think this book will help you to understand what accountability is and what it should look like in your life.

Freedom is possible but you need to put the right things in place.