Questions

While I do not want to underestimate that you are in bondage to a full blown addiction, I do want to say that often times we are blinded by the power that we hold in just doing some simple things that Jesus commanded.    Now mind you– they are so simple that people often get mad and say “there is no way…”  but Jesus said that with Him, all things are possible.   Why would He tell us how to do (or not do) something if it were not possible?    So.  Here goes.

When you’ve tried everything else, try stopping.  😉

1. Remove that which besets you.    Is it your smart phone?   Get rid of it.   Is it your lap top or home computer?  Get rid of it.   What?  You can’t do that?  Or you won’t do that?   Will you find every excuse as to why you can’t or do you want freedom enough to go to the extreme… at least for a little while to begin making new and righteous habits.

2. Accountability.   Are you using it or utilizing it?  Two totally different things.   If you have “tried” accountability with someone(s) and it’s not working then you’re not doing it right.  Suggestion:  read OPEN or go through the OPEN workshop.

3. Serve others.    Get outside of yourself and your situation and find ways to serve others.   Serving others takes us out of isolation and puts us in a “doing” mode which is better than too much time on our hands.

4. Spend time in prayer and in the Word daily.   Especially when you don’t feel like it.

5. Seek out like-minded community– consider X3groups or a Celebrate Recovery group.

Lastly- keep short accounts with God and be good to yourself by setting yourself up for a win.   Looking for workarounds or loopholes is only setting yourself up for failure.

Best wishes

You would be the best one to determine that and I would say it depends on two things– the maturity of the 12 year old and whether or not he has already been exposed to porn.

You may decide to consider the Pure Sex curriculum for youth.

I think forgiveness is a process.

You choose to forgive knowing that we are called to do so.     But I am one who believes that trust is to be earned and to be built.   If your dad has come clean and is repentant than over time the trust should be restored naturally.   However– that is not always the case.   Pornography is a huge trap.  Men and women are in bondage to something that is prevalent in our culture and all over main stream society— the things that can lure men in so easily is disheartening and I have found when I look at it through eyes of compassion– eyes that choose to see how hard this must truly be for our men then my heart softens from anger.

The other thing I want to mention is harder to grasp but I still think it is worth discussing.  Our parents are people we should be able to look up to.  They (hopefully) guide us and help shape us.   So inevitably when they fail– especially if it is a morality issue then our world is rocked.   Somehow we may have been viewing them as superhero or someone who should know better etc. and we forget that they too are human wearing flesh just like we are.

The one thing that continues to keep me humble is knowing who I am before God.  When I think of all that God has been willing to free me of and all that Jesus bore for me,  it makes it very hard to hold someone else in unforgiveness.    If you continue to struggle I would recommend making an appointment with your pastor to see if he can give you more insight.