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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I had a conversation (at my request) about sex, and where we stood on the topic. Prior to this conversation, I believed that sex was to be with a person that you truly loved and cared for, even out of wedlock. My boyfriend disagreed. He believed that we should wait until marriage. Something he also told me was that everything that you can do sexually was the same as sex, i.e. intercourse, oral sex, fingering, hand jobs and so on. He believed that doing these things was the same as losing your virginity. Other people seem to disagree with the idea, my friends tell me it’s not sex and I’m still a virgin if I decide to participate in such activities. And I’m afraid to believe them. Where does the bible draw borderlines on virginity?t
Lets not worry so much about the title of virginity here. Lets worry more about your lines that you are considering to cross. The thing is that God created sex to be between a man and a women; married man and women.
Sex is something that you need to hold as a special gift from God which it is. This si not something you want to take for granted and the fact that your boyfriend has this thougt process so early is huge. He is right and you should respect that from him.
I would take the time to find a youth pastor or a pastor who can help explain further about what sex really is about. It is not something they have not heard before and you are not the first to ask this question. They will know what to do and can help you more with this. Know that you are not alone here and that God wants so badly for you to make the right choices.
So I started watching porn about 3 years ago when my family and i migrated to the United States. After a while, I felt a conviction and I told my youth pastor. He told me to tell my parents and I did. But i fell right back, over and over again. Even though they put the x3watch on there I still fell. I recently didnt watch it coming into the new year. But i found myself falling into it, and I think its because my prayer life has been slow lately. What do i do to completely stop?
Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.
After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.
After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.
Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and thaGod loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.
I watched some porn the other day and didn’t feel guilty and i was thinking is this bad, should i be ashamed of watching porn? I feel like i am ready to face the consequences and but i new when i watching it was wrong. Now I’ve stopped watching it i feel that it wasn’t much and whats the entire point. So should i be ashamed of watching porn and how will i stop my self, because i know this will change the way i look at women.
Feeling same is someting that Satan likes to use against us when we have sinned. Do not allow him to decive you this way. It does not how ever mean that you can run off and do what you want either.
You need to talk to someone about this and get accountability as well. This can be a pastor, youth pastor, older mentor, parnets, or a teacher. But, you need to talk to someone about this and get help.
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